Fire and Ice
by Sanis
Summary: When Integra is forced into a marriage with a man she probably doesn't love she's made to decide what she wants, what she needs and how that will go over with her organization. Includes weddings, coffins, Queens, and now an epilogue!
1. In the Begining

Integra sat at her desk, her legs propped up on her desk. She was scowling, a cigar in one hand and a telephone in the other.

"Yes, I am fully aware of the consequences of my actions," she growled into the receiver. "I'll thank you, Sir Islands, to kindly remember who the head of this organization is!"

Integra was frustrated. It had been a terrible day. They had lost nearly a whole division of men. The mission had been a semi routine one, just an old warehouse occupied by what Hellsing assumed to be a headquarters for a rouge group of vampires. People had kept disappearing around the area and the old building was at the heart of the attacks. Naturally it was investigated and Hellsing's suspicions had been confirmed. They had sent some of the newest recruits to deal with it, thinking that it would be just a slightly more difficult task than usual, and would hopefully provide good experience to cut their teeth on.

Their hopes were quickly dashed. After the initial penetration of the building it was clear everything was going to hell. There were far more vampires than first anticipated and they had been very well armed. Clearly, they'd been expecting the attack. In the end there were only four survivors excluding Alucard, who had been sent to alleviate the situation.

Of course the Convention had been in an uproar since. Integra was on a short string with them to begin with, after destroying nearly all of London. She supposed they feared a repeat.

A high fast muttering could be heard on the other line. Integra took another drag off her cigar, her eyes glazed over from pretending to listen to her scolding. She refused to be treated like a child, she'd single-handedly secured the world from its own destruction once this decade, it wasn't fun for her and she had no more desire to repeat it then they had to watch it happen again. She had no way of knowing the man she'd sent to gather intel had been swayed by outside forces. She had her people clean up the mess, dispose of the rouge ghouls and hunt down the remaining vampires, what more did they want from her?

Integra was clearly getting sick of the lecture; she had real work to do. With a role of her eyes she put out her cigar and brought her feet from the desk to the floor.

"Thank you, sir for your very enlightening opinions," she spoke to the phone, clearly interrupting, "However, I do have more pressing matters to attend today then stroking your sense of well being _or _appealing to the better nature of an idiot. Good-bye."

And with that she hung up.

Her head was killing her; she leaned onto her desk and rubbed her temples.

It was going to be a very long week.

She was about to get up to eave when the phone rang again. She sneered at it as if wishing it to burst into flame. It didn't. She picked it up.

"What do you want now you insufferable old coot?" she answered, assuming it was Sir Islands, once again calling to chastise her.

It was apparent she was wrong as her face fell.

"My apologies," she murmured into the phone, uncomfortably embarrassed. She starred down at her desk.

The voice on the other end of the line said something. Integra looked up quickly.

"Excuse me?" she asked, disbelieving. Could she have heard right? No!

The voice spoke again, repeating the previous statement.

"I see," Integra said, her brow furrowed, she didn't have much choice did she? "Of course I accept the invitation. When am I to be expected for arrival?"

There was a great pause as Integra listened to what was being said. Her eyebrows shot to her hairline.

"That soon?" she exclaimed after a moment. "I do have responsibilities here; I can't just run around having tea whenever I take a fancy!"

Clearly the recipient wasn't expecting this answer. There was another pause as they replied.

"Your insolence is not appreciated," Integra said harshly, to what appeared to be a cheeky individual. "I will personally see to it that you are demoted if you have such another outburst, do not forget who you are representing. It is important to keep up the highest sense of decorum."

There was a short reply. It was obvious by Integra's expression she wasn't impressed.

"Thank-you," said Integra sullenly. "I will arrive tomorrow morning, I expect that is agreeable.

Integra didn't wait for a reply as she hung up. She was so sick of the human race she could vomit.

Now the rest of her day was shot to hell. She'd have to pack (the last time she's let someone else do it she's ended up without undergarments and Neosporin instead of toothpaste) and make arrangements for all the meetings and phone calls she would miss while she was gone. She didn't even want to think how the paperwork was going to pile up while she was gone.

Suddenly she had a great desire to curl up in a ball and hide under her desk. Everything had been so much harder since the incident with Millennium. It had taken everything she had to rebuild her life, to relearn everything that had once been second nature. There were no familiar faces, unless you counted those of her pet vampires. She had to recruit new men, replace her home practically from scratch, watch everyone fumble as they began to fill roles that had been previously been occupied with competent individuals, it had been a gargantuan adjustment.

Of course, there had been constant vampire attacks in London, they had fled there, thinking it to be the fallen city to which they could occupy safely, and with little fear of repercussion, for rumor had it that the great Hellsing organization had fallen.

It hadn't fallen though. Integra fought tooth and nail, demanding to be reinstated despite her inability to save a fair bit of London, she had made sure that Nazi bastards were isolated and destroyed, although the price had nearly been too much to bear.

Everyday the organization had fought some creature of darkness or another. There were no breaks, no sabbaticals.

All this under the scrutiny of a bunch of gossiping old fools, intent on seeing her fail.

She felt close to the edge. Everything was starting to catch up to her.

Now this. She'd been summoned to the Queen, to have tea. She wasn't a fool, she knew her Majesty had far more on her mind than earl grey or chamomile. Clearly there was something that needed discussion. She supposed it might be about this recent incident at with the sneak and the warehouse, but honestly she sincerely doubted it. The Queen had more faith in her than she did in herself, and would have gladly made her fell adequately ashamed of herself over the phone.

She sighed, she missed Walter. Lying bastard and traitor though he may have been, he always saw that her work was in order and her bags packed properly. Not to mention, when he went and had himself….changed, he'd had her best lighter in his vest pocket. She missed that especially. One just can't find them anymore, it had a certain flicker to it that appealed to her.

She starred at her desk. She'd almost caught up. It had been three years of hard struggle, but she'd almost seen it done. Now she was being thrown another gauntlet to run. It was almost cruel.

She sighed, and turned away from her workspace. She still had much to do before tomorrow morning; perhaps Police Girl would be willing to lend a hand this evening…

"What about this, Sir Integra?" asked Seras, clearly enjoying packing much more than was necessary, in Integra's opinion. Seras was holding up one of Integra's favorite dark green suits.

"No, Police Girl," she mumbled, going through her closet furiously. "The Queen gets upset when I wear suites to personal outings with her."

Seras put the suit back carefully in Integra's otherwise demolished closet.

"Why?" asked Seras carefully.

"She likes to delude herself with ideas that I will one day settle down and behave like a proper English lady."

Seras snorted. Integra smiled.

Integra gave up looking and walked over to her bed and sat down looking forlorn.

Seras saw this and quirked her head as if asking what was wrong.

Integra sighed.

"This whole fiasco with the Queen is disrupting everything," Integra hesitantly confided. "I still haven't the foggiest about what to do with all the work I'm going to miss and have to remake. I fear if I get behind I'll never catch up again."

Seras beamed.

"Is that all?" she asked enthusiastically. "I can help you Sir Integra!"

Integra was taken aback. The very idea of the Police Girl in her office banging around and being cheerful made her feel slightly ill. She was sure she'd come back to chaos. Seras, seeing the look on her face, rushed to placate her fears.

"Oh, Sir! I can do a good job. I swear it," she looked so enthusiastic, her hands pressed together and her feet doing a happy little bounce. "I got top marks at the academy, and you know I'm good in a pinch. At the very least I can make sure things stay organized."

Sir Integra eyed her suspiciously. What choice did she have? It was that or just leave it. She was certainly not going to allow one of the new idiots working under her anywhere near important documents.

"Alright," she conceded. "But you must use your best manners, just this evening I talked to a horrible secretary representing the Queen, the little snot had the audacity to talk back! I will not tolerate such behavior unless it is absolutely necessary to the-"

But before Integra had the chance to say what exactly it was necessary to, Seras had rushed her into a very tight embrace.

"Oh, thank you!" Seras cried.

Integra, on the other hand, was having a rather difficult breathing from all the pressure being exerted on her ribs. She tolerated it only for a moment, feeling foreign in the embrace of another. It felt….odd, but it could have been the lack of oxygen.

"Can't….breathe….need….air," she managed to rasp out, her face turning a rather delicate shade of pink.

"Ah," said an alarmed Seras jumping back. She saluted as Integra straightened her cloths so they looked properly dignified.

"Well," Integra breathed. "I suppose now I just need to find the proper attire."

And with that she delved back into her closet.

As Integra sat, sipping a tea that was long cold, she tried to appear as demur and lady like as one who runs a secrets organization dedicated to killing the undead can. The Queen had been going on for ages about nothing. The whole ordeal had so far consisted of small talk.

Integra was absolutely terrified.

She had no idea why the Queen insist she come to this godforsaken tea party, but she knew that the old bag wasn't as senile as she seemed, if she'd been called here it was for a reason. By personal experience Integra knew that the longer it took her Majesty to get to the point, the harder the blow would undoubtedly be. It was like she was setting up for a really terrible dessert by filling you with only mediocre courses before hand.

They'd been sitting there a little over four hours. Integra was fearing Armageddon, and her end of the world sirens were going off in her head.

"Do you like sand, my dear?" asked the frail looking Queen beaming at Integra over her cup.

Integra, who hadn't been listening, nodded politely.

"Ah, that's wonderful. I think I'll finance a trip for you as my gift," she continued. "I hear the Virgin Islands are lovely this time of year, and the irony of their purpose does appeal to me."

"Gift?" asked Integra. "I assure you madam, as I am sure you are aware, I'm much too busy for vacationing. I have never been to, nor do I plan on going anywhere outside wherever is necessary for a good long while. Keep your presents."

The Queen frowned. Integra leered.

"Well what else should I get you then?"

"Why must you insist on getting me anything?" exclaimed Integra, exasperated.

The Queen picked delicately at the doily cloth on her knee.

"Why, Integra, it's customary to get the bride a wedding present."

Integra choked on some cold tea, the Queen just smiled at her.


	2. Long Came a Spider

"Let me assure you, your Majesty, I have absolutely no need for a man what-so-ever. In case you haven't noticed, I wear the pants."

Integra was in her guestroom packing. What was once going to be a weekend with the Queen in her private estate was going to be cut short by Integra in an escape attempt.

"Let me assure _you_," retorted the Queen politely. She inclined her head, as if inspecting Integra, the latter whom was throwing things into her suitcases half hazard, "this has absolutely no reflection on the way you've run the organization. It is simply a precaution."

Integra spun around on the ball of her foot. Her eyes were shining, absolutely livid.

"Precaution?" she whispered in a deadly voice. "I am still the leader of this organization, as I have been for well into my second decade. I have not now, nor ever had need of any man!" and with her exclamation went back to ransacking through her wardrobe.

"Ah," said the Queen knowingly, "as I have it your organization is indeed dependent on one very such man."

Integra would have slapped her if it had been anyone else, anyone at all.

"The man you speak," she choked out, supporting her weight on either side of her suit case, her back turned, "is more _correctly_ defined as a creature. Wouldn't you say?"

The Queen simply smiled.

"Why?" choked out Integra, perhaps on the edge of tears, or the cusp of blind rage, she herself did not know.

The Queen gestured with her hand outwards.

"You've done amazing things, Sir Hellsing," she said, using the proper title in a rare instance. "You have given the world a second chance. You've been strong for your men, for your country, even for your fellow knights. You have accomplished more in less than twenty years them ten men could do in as many lifetimes. Don't you think it's time someone was strong for you in return?"

Integra snorted, unabashed at the flattery thrown at her.

"Don't lie," she practically hissed. "I can see through this charade. I know what the crown's ulterior motives are, I am no fool and your schemes aren't so well thought out that I can't see though them. I'm sure you'd like me to cozy up to some penis sporting creature and let him run rampart in my home, all the while in which the other knights will be attempting to hornswoggle him into their open palms, then get me fat with child, corrupting the babe as well and leave me to die so that my organization and my pet monster are no longer my own."

The Queen merely raised her eyebrow at this outburst.

"I won't have it," said Integra, her voice again strong, her back straightened. "My Queen, I am denying your request."

The Queen frowned; there was sadness in her voice.

"It is not a request, Integra, it is an order."

The ride home was a long one.

Integra rode most of the way with her head resting in her hands. Her mind was a buzz with thought.

How was she to choose a husband? Would she even be allowed to choose, or would the Queen do that too? When was she expected to have the ceremony? Were offspring also a requirement? If she were married was consummation necessary? Could she just dig up for a squatter for a spouse and send him off to live in a hut somewhere away from her? What would happen to her organization, would he want power? Would she have to share a bedroom? Would she have to change her name?

The questions just got crazier and crazier. To most of them she knew the answer. She would indeed choose the man, or else leave the country, Queen be damned. Of course there would be a ceremony, it was tradition, it would be small. Offspring would probably be wise, just one though, a child to carry on her legacy, she would see to its education. Consummation? Well, until she got pregnant at least. She had to at least marry someone who enjoyed bathing and had some-what good breeding. He could live in the house, so she could keep an eye on him, she'd put him down the hall, if he misbehaved, well, then he would room with Alucard. He would not be allowed to know anything about the organization. She would _not_ share a bedroom, and she would _not_ change her name.

Having that established, there were only a few hundred more unanswered questions. She squashed them into the far recesses of her mind; she'd deal with them later.

"Is everything alright?" asked the driver.

"No," said Integra miserably. "Can't you drive any faster?"

Integra was sitting in an overstuffed chair in the corner in what was once her favorite room, the library. She was staring off into space. Dangling in her hand was two pieces of paper, one a letter and the other an invitation.

The invitation read as follows:

_Sir Integra Fairbrooks Wingates Hellsing_

_Your presence is humbly requested on _

_21__st__ day of September,_

_At 8 o'clock in the evening._

_At the Queens annual Chesterfield Ball,_

_To be held in your honor._

_Your attendance is required._

It was written on paper far too expensive to be allowed. It was really just a very polite ultimatum. Come or suffer the consequence. The Queen had far too much power over the Hellsing leader. She could do anything from a very firm scolding (of which Integra was still susceptible to), or extreme budget cuts. Integra had just got the Organization out of debt and had beaten enough the Knights down so that she had a decent amount of which to do her job. She did not want that taken away.

However, where the invitation was a bad omen, the letter was flat out nasty.

_Sir Hellsing_

_Thank you for you brief attendance at my place of residence this week prior. Your presence was intriguing as always. Your compliance to topics previously discussed, I am sure, will be a very rewarding experience for you and you organization and I look foreword to seeing your explorations and developments. A strong woman such as you should have no problem locating the required elements of this new arrangement. _

_I had hoped that at the Chesterfield Ball, to be held in your honor; as testament to your vast tributes to Queen, country and the good Lord Almighty, will provide some insight to your situation. There are many willing and able men, of whom I'm sure who would be more than dutiful in assisting in your endeavors. Rest assured only the cream de la cream will be introduced to you in an effort to be efficient._

_I am very aware that you will be far too occupied to speak with me before the honorary evening, I do have some things to mention. Firstly, I do think that the project should be at least in engagement before the end of the year. I would like it completed after a very short introductory lapse. I feel it should be completed before May of this year. The rush on things is necessary as I would like to see the fruits of your labor in a great hurry._

_Please note that I will be having a dinner before hand this year. I expect to see you there. It will be held in the Great Hall of main house on the Chesterfield estate._

_Also, you will not be required to bring a chaperone, and leave your suit at home. Proper attire will be sent to your home. It will be a non-smoking evening._

_Cordially,_

_Her Highness_

It was almost down right insulting. The letter looked innocent enough, but there was deeper meaning. Mentally Integra had already translated.

_Dear Integra,_

_Your behavior last week was quite out of line. I expect you to do as you're told. If you act like a good little girl I will reward you and you organization, including things previously unavailable; like funds, people, machinery, technology, etc. I expect you'll see I'm right in the end anyway and enjoy your forced marriage. One day you'll thank me. I look foreword to see who you pick and how you go about choosing. I expect you to make a good decision._

_The Chesterfield ball is being held so you can pick a man from its ranks. Do not be afraid to take initiative, they know your single and would love to infiltrate your life. _

_I know you're pissed off and won't speak to me, but I have to tell you this anyhow. I want you engaged before the end of the year, and married by May. I want to see a heir born as soon as possible._

_You will some to dinner before the ball and scope out the penis sporting creature. There will be several courses of mediocre food that you will be forced to choke down out of etiquette._

_Leave the vampire home. I don't want him scaring off the men folk. Also, don't bother trying to dress yourself. After your display of wardrobe at our last meeting it is clear you have no fashion sense and would only embarrass yourself. I will send you something suitable. Don't bring any cigars either, they are a total phallus and make you smell like an old man._

_I am a meddling old bat, who wants to see you live out the remainder of your life miserably,_

_The Shrew._

Integra like her version better, albeit it did have some artistic license.

"Again?" asked Seras. "You want me to help again?"

Integra nodded her head mutely. Seras had done a reasonably good job the first time she had left. It was only logical that she should be able to watch things for another few days while Integra would be visiting Chesterfield.

"Why are you going to be gone so long?" asked Seras politely. "I thought the ball was just one evening."

Integra closed her eyes. "It's not a matter of the ball, Seras. I'm expected to stay, its tradition. When noble families intermingle, they always drag things on for a few days. I'm lucky, it used to be months"

Seras shrugged.

"Please call me nightly," Integra went on. "I expect a full verbal report every evening."

Seras shrugged.

"Are you taking Alucard?" asked Seras in a voice to innocent to be her own.

Integra snorted. "No."

"I thought it was customary for you to allow him to accompany you to these things, as a chaperon?"

Integra let out a heavy sigh.

"This time the Queen has insisted I come alone," she said her voice steady, but deep with fatigue.

"Why?" asked Seras.

"Why do you ask so many questions?" snapped Integra back.

Seras said nothing, but looked at her fingernails as if they were suddenly fascinating.

Integra brought up a hand to rub at her temples.

"I'm sorry Seras," she said dully. "I should have been less harsh."

Seras looked up and gave her a weak smile.

"The answer to your question, is that the Queen is having this ball for me to find a proper suitor."Seras' eyes got wide. Her mouth opened and shut several times. Integra thought she might have fallen into some sort of shock, but wisely chose not to say anything. That's why she was surprised when Seras burst out laughing.

"What's so bloody funny?" asked Integra, a smile at her own mouth.

Seras, couldn't stop laughing to answer her.

"Well, have your fun then," said Integra, shrugging it off. "It's all well and good for you. The Queen's being a pain in my arse, she's done everything from make crazy ultimatums to dress me."

Seras, who had finally stopped laughing enough to wipe at her eyes, which were watering with mirth, and gave Integra such a big goofy grin, that she couldn't help but smile as well.


	3. Just Smile and Nod

Integra sat at the table full of a most unlikely crowd, complete with the cliché elderly gentlemen and their much younger wives. However, those were not as abundant this evening as they usually were. Mixed in, rather frequently, were the odd gentlemen sporting a white carnation. She supposed this was the Queen's way of giving her the illusion of choice. Really they all looked the same. Prim attire, white teeth, organized hair soon to bald, and a complete left arm, of which was capable of showing off a trophy wife, unlike herself, at social events like these. Integra wasn't fooled. Just by looking at them she had rooted out an alcoholic, an abuser, a pet lover and a pretty boy. All of which were unacceptable. Unfortunately the Queen had left her with many more options.

It was going to be a long night.

The first course was lovely soft bread with a preserved center and a mysterious, but delicious dipping sauce. It wasn't half bad, which was something as usually the Queen's chef served horrible, what Integra liked to call, lab food. It was always experimental looking, like something had gone wrong in the kitchen and they decided to serve it anyway. The chef called it 'new age eating.' Integra called it trollop.

She was rather enjoying her sauce, when this horrible woman, a wife of someone with far too much money, suddenly let out a horrible shriek. The whole table turned to her.

"Is something wrong?" asked the waiter assigned to that particular woman. She was sitting almost as far away from Integra as a person could, which meant she wasn't extremely important. The general rule was, the closer you are to the Queen, the greater your value. Integra was sitting at her right hand side.

The woman quickly shook her head 'no.' Just by looking at her Integra could tell she was a new wife, new to her husband, new to this society and new to what proper etiquette when dining above ones own status.

They continued on with dinner.

The next course was a soup with a side salad. Integra's hopes of something edible were dashed. The soup was a muggletawny. An Indian soup that, normally, Integra liked very much, but this was not her usual version. Instead of its usual dark mustard color it was slightly brown and there were unidentifiable bits of something floating around, not at the surface, but in the bowl. Later she would find out there were live fish, which was just a terrible idea on many levels, but the chef had included to make dinner had a touch of 'land and sea.'

She supposed that the salad was the 'land' part, however that wasn't anything worth risking putting in her mouth. There was an awful acidic small coming from it, and she was half surprised when she didn't find any dirt or earthworms in it, looking back.

Next the main course was served. Integra didn't even bother looking at it; she simply pushed it around her plate with her fork.

Meanwhile, the new wife at the end of the table was becoming an issue. Integra could only assume that she'd been carrying on the whole time, but it was only now that her tones were loud enough to reach the ears of her Majesty and her guest.

"…I would have though better, my dear husband Howard, bless him, told me these things were very prestigious. I say! Honestly, there's only been one thing I'd eat, and it had somebody else's hair in it. Can you imagine? At my home there would never be such a-"

"Why, you simply have very many wonderful opinions on our Majesty's dining service," interrupted Integra with a lazy drawl. The woman, not knowing she'd even been heard, flushed a deep crimson color and sunk down in her chair.

"Indeed," continued Integra, "you have so many good ideas I think you should yourself go to the kitchen and assist them so that the procedure is more to you liking. It's quite obvious that's more the correct place for you. You look likely to have experience with being help, with the kind of subtle etiquette you posses. Please, feel free to dazzle us with your culinary abilities."

The woman looked like she was practically on the verge of tears now, her arms crossed protectively across her chest, but Integra did not back off.

Integra looked her in her chair a long moment, as if waiting for something. The whole table was holding its breath.

"Why are you still here?' questioned Integra after a long moment. "I was not joking, madam."

The woman let out a sob. Integra sneered with disgusted.

"You man be excused," she said, not wanting to watch some hormonal woman be emotional all over her food and others as well, as bad as it was it was still her dinner this evening.

The woman pushed back her chair and it landed on the floor with a crash. She ran out of the room, her head in her hands, odd sound escaping the confines of her turmoil.

"My apologies," murmured what appeared to be her husband to the table.

Integra didn't answer, merely stabbed at what she thought was supposed to be a steak.

"Does everyone like the gorilla meat?" asked the Queen, after a time, breaking the silence as Integra dropped her knife in shock. "Just joking!" she added at the horrified look on Integra's face.

Integra folded her hands politely and vowed to eat nothing the remainder of the meal.

When dessert came, she was highly amused by the antic of her tablemates. They oohed and ahhed over the wiggly substance that seemed to dance. It was clear like jewelry and it tasted of cool berries.

Integra laughed to herself; after all, it was only Jell-O.

There was a break between the dinner and the ball itself. In this time the guests were expected to change their attire and 'freshen up.' Integra, who had been wearing one of her suits, simply out of spite, knew that for the remainder of the night she would be wearing a gown of the Queen's choice. However, when she got to her room she was surprised.

"Cream?" she asked looking at her dress. "I suppose wearing the typical virginal white would be too much for a woman who kills vermin as a life choice."

She held the thing up against her to the mirror. It looked like something a harlot would wear. It wasn't a gown in the traditional sense, but it was still…Integra simply did not like it. The neckline came to the throat at a horizontal line, where at the shoulder the neckline disappeared and where you went over to the back you were left with two thin straps that faded into the upper buttock where the dress gathered in loose folds and eased into a flat A line style.

Integra threw the dress to the side. She didn't even want to think about the accessories.

She looked around her room, hoping to see some alcoholic beverage, finding none she decided to plop herself resignedly in the chair. She didn't have a lot of time, she needed to get ready, but she didn't want the ball to start. She'd have to face the music…and the dancing….and the awkward introductions…and the dancing….oooooh.

She got out of the chair and went to sit at a little table that had make-up on it. She looked in the mirror, what she saw looking back at her was familiar. Long platinum hair that looked to bright to be natural, bags under her grey-blue eyes, she could see the start of crows feet around her eyes. Her lips rested at a permanent frown.

She was no beauty queen, and she didn't feel like putting layers of paste over her face in a sad effort to regain what had been honorably lost. But, she did. She did it because her Queen would have wanted it. She did it to impress a faceless man who wanted her titles and status. She did it because it was her duty, her duty to put on face powder.

If she didn't feel so miserable she might have laughed.

She supposed she did an alright job. A little eyeliner, a little rouge, some shadow and some color for her lips. At first she refused the mascara, wary of it. She didn't particularly feel the need to put a pointy stick with several dozen bristles so close to her eye for longer facial hair, but in the end it went on like everything else.

She looked at herself in the mirror once again. She didn't look to hideous. She tried to make the cosmetics subtle.

Next she put on the dress, refusing to look at herself in it. It went on easily, with only a single zipper. The material did feel nice, soft and cool. Integra felt grateful that it had some redeeming qualities.

Her hair would have to be done. She had no idea what to do about that. Weren't guests like her supposed to have a chambermaid to help with this sort of thing? It barely did what she wanted on a good day. There was a reason she always wore it down. She ended up just taking it, putting it in a very loose bun, letting the excess fall out everywhere. She then double pinned back all the loose ends and made it look like a very intricate mess, she sprayed it with hairspray to make it sick. A few loose tendrils fell around her face, but she really didn't give a rat's ass. It as good as it was going to get.

She located a box that had matching shoes. She was so used to her boots it took a moment to adjust to the new footwear. The heel was a little more than she liked, but the spikiness of it appealed to her. She, at least, could poke someone's eye out with a well place drop kick, if anyone got fresh.

It took hardly anytime at all to get used to walking in them. Once upon a time, in a life that seemed cut off from this one she'd been taught to walk in ladies footwear…but that was forever ago.

The Queen had even gone to a length to make sure that she had the proper jewelry. It was in another box, next to where the shoes had been. She wouldn't be surprised to find that it was from the Queen's own royal store. Even she could recognize the beauty of the finely crafted silver. There were chandelier earrings that seemed to glow, with a matching bracelet. Also included was a ring.

The ring was strange. She picked it up and looked at it. It was silver, but it had gold inlay. It had the Hellsing family crest and was bejeweled. Integra was impressed; it looked elegant without being gaudy. She hoped the Queen intended her to keep it, although even is she didn't Integra had a feeling it would disappear…

The time had come, she must leave her room and face the hounds. She did hope none of them tried to hump her leg to get her attention.

She forced herself to look in the mirror before leaving, if only to see what was to be ridiculed later.

She was a bit weary of the thing staring back at her, it didn't look like her. It looked like someone who knew what they were doing, someone who was used to this sort of thing, of extravagant parties and lavish presents.

Still unsure on whether or not she looked presentable she set off to the lion's den.


	4. Ache Like It's November

"That's _her_?"

"Look at that!"

"Sir Hellsing, that _tart_?"

"I wonder what she bathed in!"

"Look at that dress!"

Integra stood; all around her people were gawking and mocking. They were staring very rudely. She ignored them, pretending to sip a punch she dare not let pass her lips. This was a terrible fiasco. She just wanted to go upstairs and go to bed. The make-up felt tight on her face, her dress made her feel exposed and she was swindled up in finery that made her look like some frolicking peacock.

"Integra!" called a cheerfully familiar voice. Internally Integra groaned. "Oh, look at you!"

Integra turned to face the voice.

"Your Majesty," she said coolly, inclining her head in the proper fashion

"Did you like your surprises?" asked the Queen, who was also looking stunning for an elderly woman.

"Yes, I like the ring very much," answered Integra, please it was a gift."

"No, dear," said the Queen. "Not just the ring, the dress, and jewelry, oh, and the shoes of course! There are also more sets of things in the closet for you to wear for your time here, I insist you keep them as well, to wear at your leisure."

Integra was surprised, but grateful.

"I am most satisfied," Integra said graciously. "Thank you very much."

The Queen stepped back and looked Integra up and down, a please smile on her face.

"You look absolutely _lavish_ my darling."

Integra smirked in a frosty manner.

"No need for pleasantries," she said simply. "I can see that I've made quite the fool of myself."

The Queens eyes got wide and then fell back into a smile.

"Don't pay any mind to what these people are saying," she said firmly, but with warmth. "Besides, I haven't heard one negative comment yet! Integra, you've had quite the coming out."

Integra snorted.

"It's true," said the Queen confidently. "These people are amazed at how beautiful you are. It's a marvel you've been able to hide it so long!"

Integra had enough grace to blush the fairest of pinks. It sickened her to think such idle flattery had gotten to her.

"Now," said the Queen in a more hushed tone. "When you begin to mingle, and you must!" she said as Integra began to protest. "You must look for the gentlemen with the white carnations. They are the one's most suitable for the position. I, myself, handpicked them."

Integra, resigned, just looked determinedly grim.

"Now, off you go!" and with a push, Integra Hellsing was 'mingling.'

It was an odd sensation, looking back on that evening. It held everything she hated about her place in life, wrapped up in a neat silk bow. However, she was surprised to find that she didn't necessarily mind not being hissed at or booed. It was a feeling akin to acceptance, she was sure of it. She hadn't been a part of these people's world since she was a child, since before her father died. It felt strange to once again be among their ranks.

She was still at Chesterfield. She would remain there in addition to a few gentlemen whom she'd 'recommended' to the Queen. This would be her chance to snatch up a ready made man. While the terms of the ball were on foggy conditions, at the very least, it was widely known that Integra was searching for a husband. Most of these rumors were being cast out, the women of the crown saying it was impossible, nigh unfathomable!

Integra sat at her night table, brushing her hair. It was the morning after the ball. Her feet were a little sore from dancing, but it had been worth it. She had forgotten that once she was Ms. Pudimare's best dance pupil. Apparently other people thought she was quite talented as well, because several times during the night she, and whatever partner she was sporting, would be the center of a room full of people, who were crowding the walls to see an intricate picture.

A small part of her was snubbing herself. Integra Hellsing was a worker, a fighter. What would her father say to see her prancing around like a toy pony?

Scratch that, actually. He'd probably be overjoyed. The man always did have a liking for parties. He was a drinker and a womanizer. He'd have loved his overworked daughter to have a spot of fun.

She watched her long platinum strands float through the brush. Her hair had held fairly well, she'd even been complimented on it once or twice! Her nightgown matched her hair now, they were more or less the same shade. It was odd to see.

No, her father would have been okay with a little dance or two, as long as it didn't interfere with her work.

She pulled her hair back experimentally. She never wore it up for anything casual, however she'd liked it last night, it had been off her face and neck. She looked around for a tie, and found a silver ribbon in the drawer on her left. She let it fall into a simply pony tail. It was still long down her back, but it was out of the way. Excellent.

Her father was accepting. However, there was one… creature, she could not necessarily count on for such support. What would Alucard say about her behavior? He'd accuse her of entertaining useless mortals and their foolish ideals. He liked her just the way she was, and she need not paint her face to get his attention.

She was worried about Alucard. She had not yet informed him of her new arrangement with the Queen, but she was sure that he would not rejoice in any case. He'd be furious. Integra didn't want to think about what would happen if he were to decide to completely disregard her as he had done with other members of the Hellsing family of which he did not approve. It might put her in ruin.

Integra put the brush down and stared at it hard, not really seeing the brush at all.

She would make him understand, she had to. Life without him would be…impossible.

She closed her eyes, willing herself to deal with it when the time came and got up to go look in her closet for the days attire.

Integra would have thought that it was a kind gesture for the Queen to give her such nice things, if she weren't quite sure that the only reason it had been given was because she was sure Integra was incapable for picking out anything for herself, unless it was in the men's section.

Looking in the closet, Integra decided, maybe the Queen was right.

There were far more outfits then was necessary for her stay at Chesterfield, thrice as many, in fact. Overwhelmed by the colors and choices Integra just dove her hand in and picked one. She pulled out a light blue sundress. Around the top of the hander as a pair of shoes and a baggy of accessories, the Queen had even seen to it that she had specific knickers and brazier to compliment the dress. She laughed as she opened the rather large bag of accessories and found amongst the jewelry and perfume (!?) a hat and bag.

If she didn't know better, Integra would have thought the Queen was buttering her up for taking away her freedom… or, more likely, making her presentable enough to even snatch a man. Alucard always did say the woman had style, or at least a very good professional dresser. Either way Integra was only grateful it was better than the chef's work.

She put everything on, having already showered and eaten breakfast in her rooms. At the last minute she decided to throw on a bit of make-up, she thought it was quite clever really. She was going to fool her future husband into thinking she was a proper English lady, she just hoped she did not fool herself in the process.

Sitting there at a strangely small table in a restaurant that seemed to be too doll-like to be allowed, Integra sat with a rather disgruntled men. So far she'd suffered through tea and it looked like she was going to have to go through the whole shebang.

It was another suitor. So far she'd entertained three, including this one. The other two she had chosen of her own accord. One was the son of a prestigious General in the Queen's armed forces. He was presentable and well-mannered, two things which Integra required. He was a bit shy, bordering on jumpy, but he didn't seem like the sort to interfere or impose. He also looked like he'd make a presentable father. Integra was impressed, but on a very one dimensional level. He was, in short, a last resort.

The second was a man of who slightly resembled Alucard. The connotations of the fact disturbed her, but she had only identified the cause of her attraction after they'd already met in private. She'd still rather him over the timid one, no matter what his personality, if only for that small fact. At least, it figured, it would make consummation that much easier, after all Alucard was a very attractive, hesitant as she was to admit it.

The last, and one she was currently dining, was a very conceited fellow, but he had reason to be. He graduated Oxford on the Dean's list, he'd served his country as a lieutenant and he had a good family name. His name was Percival Edward James Islands, and Integra had chosen him practically on name alone, at the Queen's urgings. He was a very good gentleman in public, but even as she conversed with him she could see him looking down on her over the bridge of his perfectly handsome nose. She'd been told he had a tendency to be a loose canon if given enough ammunition. Integra didn't mind much, she would break him if she had to. She was older and wiser. He was three years her junior, she found it a bit unnerving, but not enough so to make it a serious distraction. In her soul she was ten times older than nearly everyone she knew.

Anyway, they were sitting there, doing nothing. Integra had never thought that the sound her spoon made when it grazed the side of her teacup was ever so fascinating. She noticed that her company had uncommonly good teeth. He might have actually been more attractive than her, which wasn't exactly a feat, but she was a woman.

"So," he started suddenly. "Do you think me suitable?"

Integra eyed him across the way. He'd probably be able to handle some responsibility, and he wasn't likely to betray her if he was Island's son. He was the only member of the convention she put any real stock in.

"I suppose," she answered just as carefree. "Although your conversation skills are lacking, I think you're in the running."

He snorted.

"Are you the one responsible for this excuse of a restaurant?" he asked with a sneer.

Integra grinned. "I assure it is someone else's doing. Here I was under the impression that you were the one to blame."

He looked at her as if she just said the most incredulous thing.

"Certainly not."

"I see."

"Would it please you to leave?"

"Immensely."

"I insist you pay, so we may leave this rat shack and find some place more… mature."

It was Integra's turn to snort.

"You think I should pay?" she laughed. "How refreshing."

He shrugged.

"You're a career woman, I think you can swing it," he said smugly. "Besides, if you're going to marry me and take away any chance I might have of living out my life in some semblance of peace the least you can do is pay a few of my expenses."

Integra raised an eyebrow.

"What makes you think I'll choose you?" she asked, not even bothering to ask how he knew her ulterior motives.

He looked at her like she'd grown a second head.

"My dear, how could you not?"

Integra shook her head, amused.


	5. A Whiter Shade of Grey

"Thank you for a very wonderful evening," said Integra in the Great Hall of the Queen's mansion. "I thoroughly enjoyed myself."

"Obviously," said…him. Integra hadn't yet decided of what to call him.

Integra took a mock step back in dismay.

"Are you suggesting that my company was not as valuable as yours" she asked, feigning offense.

"Not at all," he bit back. "Just that it must be rare for a woman like you to get out much, I was under the impression that any company would be exemplary when your usual conversations are with people who are awaiting orders."

"Touché," she replied, mentally giving him a point.

He took her gloved hand and pulled it up to look at it.

"Such small hands for such power," he murmured, she watched him cautiously. "Although it is not uncommon for things of great power to come in very small packages, it makes them more valuable."

She pulled her hand away, impressed with the way he handled the situation.

"Goodnight Lt. Islands," she said, turning toward the direction of her rooms. Suddenly she felt this urge to run. Alas, she was not fast enough and he grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

"If I might call you Integra, Sir Hellsing, you are more than welcome to call me Percy," he told her, his eyes full of mirth.

"Err, yes," she said. "Thanks."

She tried to get free, but to no avail.

"Integra," he said softly. It sounded strange to hear her own name spoken without some sort of title. "I believe we have some things to discus."

"I might suggest another time, Lieut- Percy. The hour is rather late."

He smiled at her, his humor not concealed.

"Don't fret so," he chortled. "I promise not to do anything fresh. Let me walk you to your rooms?"

She sighed, defeated.

"Alright," she said sheepishly, aware he knew why she was so eager to get away.

He took her arm and slipped it through his.

"Integra," he said as they began to walk. "I am well aware of the situation with you and the Queen. I know what orders she's given you."

Integra nodded mutely, wondering where this was going.

"I must say I had an unfair advantage though," he confided. "The Convention of Twelve had been trying to persuade her for ages; it was her who put it off the past two years, claiming you needed to be ready."

Integra felt a rush of fondness for her Queen.

"My father sometimes confides in me things," he admitted. "Although I never would have thought that, at the time, I would be one of the male figures up for pickins, so to speak, I realize that I might be the only person suitable for the position…I think you recognize it too."

Integra was immediately suspicious.

"Oh don't look at me like that, Integra," he said, dismissing her look of suspicion with a wave of his hand. "If I wanted to trick you I'm certainly capable of doing a much better job than this, give me some credit."

Mentally she gave him another point.

"I am well aware of your concerns," he went on. "You want someone who will more or less be out of your hair, someone who won't want to take your organization from you or try to sell you out. You want someone to give you an heir."

Integra had enough willpower not to blush, she was not so out of her element that she would play the timid virgin…even if she was.

"Well, I can do you better than that," he said smiling. "I won't stay out of your way, I certainly don't want your Hellsing, I've seen it over the years. The responsibility that comes with that position is not one I could handle. I'm not strong like you; I can't be what you have been. However with my education and experience I would like to, perhaps, fill the more professional aspects of the position your late butler held. I feel competent enough for that. It would allow me to be close to you, and keep me busy."

Integra stopped and looked at him. What they said was right, he was smart. She let her brow furrow in thought.

"I thought it was an acceptable terms," he said.

"Are you aware I am to produce an heir as soon as I'm married?" she asked. "How do you think you would do as a father?"

He looked at her.

"As good as any I suppose," he said looking thoughtful. "I'm as qualified as any member of the male gender in that arena."

Integra looked at the floor. Who was she to question paternal values? She was hardly the mothering type.

"I think your terms are acceptable," she said, making her decision before she lost her will. "Alright, I can accept this arrangement."

He smiled politely, and pulled something from the inside of his suit jacket.

"Look at this," he said handing it to her.

She took it from him. Her eyebrows shot to her hairline. She read over the document quickly. It had several pages, and was a bit curled from being in his jacket.

"A prenuptial agreement?" she said impressed. "You really did come prepared. Cocky bastard."

He laughed.

"The contents should please you more than the document itself," he said, acting like the cocky bastard he was.

Indeed it was impressive.

"You claim nothing?" she asked.

"Nothing," he said. "Although I expect our matrimony won't require such a document, if you decide you really hate me you can assassinate my ass."

Integra laughed openly.

"Yes, I think this could work very well."

"Alright," he said, suddenly playful.

Integra was not prepared for what came next. Not at all. She watched as he got down on bended knee. She felt her knees go weak, but willed them to stay up. She watched as he pulled a small white box out of his pocket. Idly she wondered what else he was hiding in that seemingly endless jacket.

"Integra Hellsing, will you do me the greatest honor of allowing me to be your husband?"

Integra momentarily let herself be baffled by a man who was so conceited that to a woman he'd barely met he'd been prepared enough to research her, prepare the proper documentation and also arrange for a ring to purpose marriage. On their first date.

"I accept your proposal, Lt. Islands."

He opened the box for her to look at the ring.

"I got it in platinum," he told her confidently. "I thought it would suit you better."

Against the red velvet of the miniature box there lay a ring. Indeed it was platinum, but it had a modern look to it. Integra thought it was presentable enough.

He took the thing out of its box, and taking her hand in his. He selected her ring finger and slipped in on delicately. She didn't know what to say, so she chose to say nothing.

"Do you like it?" he asked, looking eager to please.

"Yes," she said. "I find it to be attractive."

"Good," he said standing up. "Let it be the symbol of a long and prosperous relationship between us."

"Indeed," she said with the feeling that she was making a very strategic move for her organization.

Percy opened his arms and it suddenly occurred to Integra that she was expected to embrace him. She took a step foreword and slipped her arms around his shoulders, squeezing him in an awkward hug. She thought it was very hospitable.

He laughed at her, openly. She could feel the blood rush to her face. He pushed her away gently. She felt shame bubble at his rejection, but it was soon squashed down. He took her hands and directed them around his waist and pulled her close to him. It was quite more comfortable then her attempt, she would admit. It felt good to be close to him and they stayed that way a moment.

Eventually he pulled back and she quickly followed suit. However, he didn't let her go completely, taking her hands and holding her in front of him. He gave them a gentle pressure allowing one off them to be released.

He then took his free hand and brought it up to her face. Letting his thumb graze her cheek, he stepped closer, much too close to allowed really…

Lying in bed after Percy had well been gone for the evening; she kept replaying the night's events in her mind. That kiss…her lips still tingled. It wasn't passionate or hungry; it was a simple mouth to mouth expression…but still. She felt like a giddy school girl.

Percy had been the perfect gentlemen, excusing himself after the 'incident,' wishing her a good night and telling her to send him a note when she was ready to once again see him. He hadn't been too eager or expected anything that he acted on. She found that it was, all in all, a very pleasant experience.

She let out a little chortle when she thought what the Queen would say when she told her how far ahead of schedule she was. Ha, the end of the year indeed. It wasn't even October yet!

She had so much to plan!

Of course she would have preferred to not be forced into a hurried marriage or have to dress up and prance around, no matter what kind of kisses she got in return. But things were looking up, looking down.

Percy would be good for the organization. He would be respected and liked. He probably wouldn't make too much of a fool of himself, in any case.

Integra pulled the sheet to her chin. It would probably be okay, but there were still some doubts lingering in her mind.

For instance, a certain red clad monster who had dedicated himself to her and been her mentor the majority of her life, or the red haired vampire love-child (as she liked to call her) who was finally finding her place in the delicate ministry Integra had set up.

In that moment it seemed that Alucard knew his master was thinking of him, because she felt a polite tug at the edge of her mind. She quickly set up her defense so not to let him in. Not tonight, those events were private, even from him.

She immediately felt guilty; he had probably just gotten back from the United States on a special mission to eliminate a particularly nasty vampire that had fled the country.

Suddenly, looking back on the past few days, everything she seemed to have done seemed so meaningless. Dances, clothes, fraternizing, what good were they to anybody? They didn't help her serve her country, Queen or God.

Why had she been so eager to be someone else? Because she was stressed, overworked, isolated? She didn't know, she was happy with her life, as high maintenance as it was. She had never lusted after these things before she had been presented to her.

Then a thought occurred to her that made her head hurt. Was it because it was a way to see something she would never have? A proper family, husband or child? A place with people who enjoyed her company? A spot she could call her own? Someone to love her?

Suddenly feeling gloomy, Integra slowly drifted off into an uneasy slumber.


	6. Thumbnails Sting Fingers

They sat in the car together. They had barely had a moment alone since their brief moment in the hall. It had been a made dash of congratulations and well wishers the past few days. No time for anything but shaking hands and drinking tea. No time to talk, no time to do anything really.

Integra was glad to be going home. She was taking Percy with her, to introduce him to the mansion and get him acquainted with the people there. She hoped he made a good impression. Integra closed her eyes imagining all the things that could go wrong.

Percy must have sensed her discord, because he reached over and took her hand to hold it. She let him.

"It's been a rough couple of days," he said, making conversation.

"Indeed," agreed Integra. "Fighting vampires is nothing like escaping from the court ladies!"

Percy smiled, scooting closer.

"What's on your mind?" he asked putting an arm around her. Integra allowed it, but didn't sink into his embrace.

"I'm worried about how you'll be received," she stated honestly.

There was a long pause, then;

"Is that all?" he asked.

She looked over at him through the corner of her eye.

"No," simply put. "I'm very worried about Alucard's reaction."

She could see Percy's eyebrows knit together in thought in the window reflection as he took this in.

"I can see your concern," he stated at last.

"You can?" Integra asked dully.

"Ah, yes," he said, his usual cockiness momentarily forgotten. "I actually wanted to ask…"

Integra watched him look at her.

"Not that it's really any of my business, but as we are to be married-"

"Well, spit it out," encouraged Integra.

He looked at her as if he'd been scolded.

"I was simply curious if you and vampire had any sort of…romantic connections. There have always been rumors, you see."

Integra smirked.

"Of course you would desire such information," she consoled him. "It's only natural to be curious about your spouses past romances-"

He choked a bit on the ginger ale he had taken a sip of.

"Excuse me?" he asked alarmed. "You do have a history? My, he can't be very loving, can he? I thought there wasn't any stock in that rubbish, seeing as how you didn't even know how to embrace a fellow human being correctly-"

"If you'd let me finish!" interrupted Integra. "I was about to say that I have no relationship experience, if you are looking for sordid details of me and my pet vampire's elicit affairs you'll be simply disappointed."

Percy looked doubtful.

"There's nothing between you?" he asked, seemingly to confirm. "Not even any…tensions?"

Integra shook her head. "Alucard is simply my pet to be willed. A puppet in the Hellsing arsenal, nothing more. His role in my organization is vital, and he's been dead useful, but we have never crossed any lines physically or discussed doing so."

Percy nodded at this; however he looked only partially satisfied. Integra pacified him with a peck on the cheek, thinking it would at least make him a bit more cheerful, however it backfired.

He put his hand to his face where her mouth had been only a second before. Then took it away and looked at it. He cocked his head and grinned.

"Wanna snog Integra?" ha asked, a boyish look in his eye.

Integra froze.

"Excuse me?" she said. "We're adults; we do not 'snog.'"

Percy shrugged. "What do you call it then?" Integra huffed. "You don't have to be so indignant, I just thought I'd offer. After all, you didn't seem to mind last time."

Then he grinned at her and Integra felt the righteous anger she'd been feeding dissipate.

"I'm not indignant, but honestly. What about the driver?"

"What about him?" he asked pulling her closer.

"What if he sees?" she asked, not quite saying yes.

"What if he sees?" he asked right back shrugging. "He's only a driver."

Integra rolled her eyes. Percy put another arm around her.

"It's a limousine, Integra, the driver probably wouldn't notice if we got naked and dance around painted red.

"I'm not getting naked," Integra said quickly, there was quite a chill in the air, the driver must have had the air conditioning on too high.

"I wouldn't expect you to," he replied.

He pulled her so close she was almost on his lap, she didn't mind at all.

It was nice, just like last time. He didn't try to invade her mouth at all, just gave her mouth little kisses, occasionally giving other parts of her face attention. She liked it, his mouth was warm and soft, and he didn't feel very…stubbly, which she always thought would be an issue when kissing.

He pushed her hair back from her face and instantly Integra felt gratitude. It was clear that he was an experienced man. He was going slow, just for her benefit.

A flare of shame burst inside Integra. He didn't need to, she was a grown woman, and she could handle a bit of a 'snog' if she put her mind to it.

She scrunched her face up in concentration, trying to remember if she knew anything useful about kissing. She found that she was blissfully ignorant on the subject. She'd seen it done in movies.

And with that thought she pulled Percy closer to her and tried to deepen the kiss, winding her hand in his hair pressing against him. He made a muffled sound that sounded distinctly amused, but didn't resist. In fact it seemed that he had been waiting for her to make move. He tried to open her mouth with own, she let him. He kissed the corner of her mouth as if giving her a warning, then took her bottom lip in his mouth and did something Integra could only describe as delightful.

Noting that he wasn't being hindered, he gently pushed her back against the door of the car so he could be over her smaller frame just a bit. Just as he got her situated he let a flash of tongue slip between her lips. Integra let out a little sound, but made no indication that it wasn't wanted. Percy removed her hands from his hair and placed one around his neck, and the other one found its way to his chest where it rubbed against him in a polite pattern, for lack of anything better to do.

At this point Integra really didn't care if the whole Convention saw, it was their doing after all.

He paused to let them get a bit of air. She could feel him grinning against her cheek, where he had pressed their faces together.

"You alright?" he asked.

"Oh yes," she replied, refusing to sound breathless. "Tip top."

He laughed and resumed their previous activities.

They were still kissing when the car came to a stop and Integra re emerged.

"We're here!" she exclaimed, the car ride hadn't seemed that long.

"What!" Percy interjected. "Crikey! Here, let me fix your hair, it's all mussed."

Percy helped Integra look a bit presentable for the guards. Integra felt a bit touched that he'd put her before himself. After she was reasonably presentable, she assisted him with his own disheveled appearance.

"Ready," he asked looking smug.

Integra tilted her head towards to him. "I am," she said as if it was obvious. "Don't look so pleased with yourself," she added.

They got out of the car.

"Holy smokes," said Percy. "Your house is bloody huge!"

"It has to be," Integra replied. "I run everything out of this place."

"Everything." He questioned dubiously.

"Everything," she confirmed. "My officers are on the first floor, along with the ballroom dining room and kitchen, that is our head off operations. The second floor has a few rooms for the maids and various servants we keep. There are also guest rooms, but we use most of the empty rooms for storage, Hellsing isn't exactly the ideal retreat. The top floor are my-excuse me, our rooms. The Convention room is also up there, with a private library and a very luxurious master bathroom. My office also resides on this floor. There are other rooms up there, but they haven't been used even before my father's time."

She had started to walk, he kept a close trail.

"Is that all?" he asked sarcastically.

She threw him a grin.

"Not at all," she said. "There is also the basement where we have a laboratory, among other things. And there's the sub basement below that, where I keep my monsters."

Percy whistled.

"Anyway," she continued. "I hope you'll make yourself comfortable here. We can discuss plans for the future later this evening, after dinner. Although, I must say, it's hardly appropriate for you to live in my home for a great period before marriage."

"Eager, eh?" he mocked.

Integra could play that game. She looked him up and down, looking impressed, but last minute frowned.

"Hardly," she said.

He just laughed. Integra was finding that she liked that about him.

Integra had an eventful evening. After dinner Percy and she had discussed their plans to move forward. Percy wanted to be married whenever it was convenient to Integra. Integra wanted to get it done as soon as possible so she could simply get it over with, and more importantly so that she could let Percy take on some responsibilities. She was hoping that he could help fill the shoes Walter had left behind.

She wanted a small ceremony; he didn't give two squirts of piss. She was amused when he told her to spend whatever she wanted, it was his treat.

"Why thank you," she had replied, "although I'm more than capable of covering the expenses on my own."

He had shrugged.

"That's the point," he replied. "Isn't it?" Then he winked, she just shook her head.

"Do you think the end of next week would be too soon?" she asked tentatively, testing the waters.

"Sounds good," he replied, looking around, distracted.

They were in the library and Integra would be the first to admit that it was impressive; Percy seemed to be able to also marvel at its sheer size.

"How do you feel about this?" Integra asked suddenly. Percy turned his attention away from his surroundings and back onto her.

"I feel fine," he said. "I think it is a very profitable situation."

Integra looked at him, slight exasperated.

"You must feel more strongly than that," she said. "After all, you are being forced into a practically arranged marriage to a person that is, let's be perfectly honest, thought to be insane in most circles of social company."

He looked at her as if examining something under a microscope.

"You're practically being made a servant to my house," she said, her voice getting louder. "You are throwing your lot in with mine, signing on to live a life that, in all honesty, is not as easy as it appears."

He gave her a smile, not the usual cheerful ones, but one that almost told her that she should know better.

"Ah, Integra," he said. "Now we've hit the nail on the head, haven't we?"

She looked at his perfect nose, refusing his eyes.

"I am honor bound to serve this country and crown," he said gently. "My religion is not as stead fast as yours, I'll admit, my family has always used it as a pretense, not a practice. My whole life has been in the service of others. Service to my father, the army, service to my own beliefs."

Percy walked over to the window where the night sky was winking back at them.

"This is not truly a sacrifice, Integra," he said to the window. "It is what I must do, my duty to my place in this world. This task…is not one I can leave up to anyone else."

"Is that what you life means to you?" Integra asked. "Duty?"

He turned around. "I thought you of all people would understand. We are both what we have made by others. Life is more to us than just breathing; we are what make this life livable for countless peoples who don't even know how empty they are. We are protectors of innocence, Integra."

Integra gave him a long look.

"That is the biggest load of trollop I've heard in a long time."

Percy shrugged.

"I think," he said slowly. "That I'm not answering the right question."

"What?"

Percy walked over and sat in the chair adjacent to Integra.

"Yes," he said. "I am satisfied by this arrangement. I'm content to be a trophy in your gallery, and I'm not disappointed by you as my life partner or my new string master."

Integra looked away.

"I don't resent you at all dear," he said in a low voice.

Integra let relief pass over features he couldn't see.


	7. Kisess Like Salt

The next morning Integra woke up with the feeling that it was going to be a difficult day indeed. She had come to sense them coming. She had to force herself out of bed, only to discover her morning tea had not yet arrived and her feet were suspiciously cold.

Integra went into the bathroom off her bedroom and turned on the water in the showering room. At the very least she could get ready to face the day as it came.

While she waited for the water to heat up, she went over to her closet to pick out the days outfit. Immediately she was torn. She had like looking like a creature of her own gender while she was away, but she really couldn't prance around like that at Hellsing. What would the men think? In the end she compromised by picking out a suit that was a little more feminine looking than most of the ones she owned. She had forgotten about it, Alucard had picked it out for her and insist Walter order it.

Alucard.

It was odd for him to not have contacted her already, usually when she got home from trips he was by her side instantly, night or day. She imagined he might be a miffed with her for rejecting him from her mind, but it seemed an awfully long time for him to still be brooding. She had an odd inking that it wasn't that incident at all, but rather he was harboring some other mysterious judgment.

The night before Percy had shown interest in being close again, but Integra had politely claiming fatigue. The truth of the matter, and she hated to admit it to herself, was that she was afraid that a series of red inhuman eyes would have seen something she wasn't ready for them to observe yet. Although she needn't have worried, Alucard had kept to himself, and she hadn't sensed his icy presence. She could have called him to her, but she didn't want that confrontation. She knew she would have to tell him, he would want to hear the details from her, assuming that the Police Girl had already told him about the Queen's arrangement, and even if she hadn't Alucard had probably plucked the information from her mind anyway.

Seras, Integra idly wondered where she was. The Police Girl had been very good about giving her knightly reports while she was away; it seemed that the job suited her well. However, Integra had not seen her the night before either. She supposed she was sleeping now, but it was odd that she had not sought her out yesterday.

Integra shrugged it off. She went about arranging her outfit, foraging out her engagement ring and the crest her Queen had given her. She lumped the days attire into a pile and padded into the bathroom with it.

She set her thing on a side table and removed her nightdress, tossing it aside. When she stepped into the shower the water was lovely and just a bit too hot, the way she liked it. She let the water pour her, the spray on her back relaxing her muscles and making her feel a bit more at ease.

She cleaned quickly knowing she'd have a lot of work to make up from her time away. Although it was only for a short time, paperwork had a tendency to be rather endless. She dressed and applied a bit of mascara and rouge, just for good measure. She supposed she ought to make a bit of an effort now that she had someone who might actually care if she ran around looking like she had one foot in the grave and the other on the banana peel.

With that she set off to her office, quite a bit earlier than usual. She was surprised to find only a reasonable amount of paperwork and immediately felt suspicious. Seras wouldn't now how to do most of it, and if she had tried it would only mean Integra would have to re-do that in addition to whatever it took to correct all her mistakes.

She went through the things that were there in a matter of hours, breakfast and lunch both came and went and the day was proving to be quite successful. Integra was beginning to wonder if the feeling she had earlier that day hadn't just been a bit of indigestion.

"Are you still working away like a busy little beaver?" came a voice from the door way. It was later that evening, and Integra was impressed with how fast the day had gone.

"I'm actually working ahead," Integra said, surprised by her own declaration, but not looking up.

"Is that unusual?" asked Percy.

"Highly," Integra said, finishing what she was signing and raising her head. "I'm almost always struggling to keep on top of it, but most of it was done when I arrived this morning."

Indeed, it had been. She had found the paper work she had thought perhaps Seras had done, but it was in an unfamiliar script. She had read over the top of the pile, and finding everything in impeccable order and very well accomplished, requiring only her signature, she had been scribbling hr name onto the papers for quite some time. It took awhile, when your name was Integra Fairbrooks Wingates Hellsing, it demanded some effort to scrawl.

"That was a nice surprise," he agreed. "I spent most of the day in the library, it was very impressive. I was most pleased to find the Harry Potter series, it's one of my favorites."

Integra couldn't tell if he was joking or not, so she merely nodded.

"I apologize; you won't find yourself very busy until after the wedding I'm afraid."

"No matter, I'm very good at keeping myself occupied."

"You could familiarize yourself with the grounds," suggested Integra.

"Are they large?" he asked politely.

"Very much," said Integra. "There are the barracks, the gardens, the shooting range, a tennis court, the garages where we keep the cars and military vehicles, the swimming pool and various other things."

"Oh my," Percy said.

"Yes," said Integra. "We made some additions while rebuilding, the house is expanded, the grounds extended, mostly because we acquired more tools for our trade."

"Ah," said Percy. "I think I will explore a bit tomorrow."

There was an awkward pause. Integra was surprised to think she couldn't find anything to say.

"I like your suit," said Percy at last, walking a bit into the room from the door way. "It looks good on you, not everyone could pull it off."

"Thank-you," said Integra. "It was picked out by-" but she stopped herself short, still not sure how, or if, to talk about Alucard with Percy. She was saved by explaining her pause by the sound of her stomach growling.

"Hungry?" Percy asked smiling. "I can call down and have dinner sent up, if you like."

"I would appreciate that very much," she said, trying to resist the urge to tell him that she was quite capable of making her own dinner arrangements. Why did he need to be in her office anyway?

"Have you eaten anything today?" he asked as he picked up _her_ phone.

"Not since breakfast," she watched him struggle with the antique dial pad. "I had early grey and a pumpkin muffin."

But by then he was talking to someone on the kitchen, and hadn't heard her.

She waited for him to get off the phone.

"There," he said. "Now we're ready."

He offered her his hand.

"Would you care to take dinner in the library?" he asked.

She took his hand, and gave him a slight nod. It wasn't as if she had a lot of choice, did she? If he had ordered dinner to be in the library, then that's where they would bring it. She didn't think books and edibles really mixed very well, but he seemed to be most comfortable there. She momentarily thought about just telling him she wanted to have dinner in her office, but then thought about how politely he would agree, and how he would have to once again have to struggle with the phone and touch her things. She decided maybe the library was best after all."What are we having," Integra asked as they walked, arm in arm, just to have something to say.

"The woman who answered the phone said that we were having a beef stew, with various sides," he said.

"Oh, that sounds lovely," Integra replied. "A hearty soup will feel good now that the days are getting colder."

"Yes, I had noticed that it is a bit cooler here that where I am from."

"We're close to a large body of water," Integra said. "It makes for a bit less heat."

They sat in the library and ate dinner and ate in nearly complete silence. As they finished the quiet was beginning to weigh on them both and there was a thickness in the air.

"Integra," said Percy at last. "I think I understand what's going on here."

"You do?" she asked. That was good, she certainly had no idea.

"Yes," he said. "I want you to know it's okay to talk about, I'm not going to judge you and I don't have any expectations."

"Really?" she replied, thoroughly confused.

Percy took a deep breath. Integra wondered why he seemed so…skittish.

"I know it must be hard, having been nearly cut off from normal people for so long, and being so involved with your work."

Integra didn't think the people she was around were abnormal, nor that her work was unworthy of the attention it received, but she listened as he continued.

"You've had a very sheltered life," he continued.

Integra didn't think killing monsters and waging a secret war with dark creatures was exactly 'sheltered,' either.

"You haven't been introduced to certain aspects of society," he squirmed a little, she narrowed her eyes. "Especially in the delicate matters if being…intimate with another human –or anyone," he added seeing the look on her face. She let the slip pass, but was slightly hurt that he still held that notion, even though he knew it wasn't true.

So that was what that little chat was about.

"I seem to be doing alright so far," she defended.

He smiled at her warmly, looking thankful she had decided to say anything.

"You're doing marvelous," Integra supposed she should feel flattered. "But I can read between the lines, my love."

Idly Integra wondered when he'd decided to call her 'my love,' especially since he'd never made any such declaration.

"You can?" she asked dully.

"Don't be coy Integra!" he exclaimed. "The excuse about the driver in the limousine? The headache last night? Our awkward company this evening? It's obvious that you're trying to keep a distance, and I can hardly blame you for being so shy. Indeed, such modestly in a woman is a virtue."

Integra almost snorted. She didn't think she'd ever been described as 'shy' or 'modest.'

"You have nothing to fear from me," he said in a reassuring voice. "I'm quite willing to go very slow, we needn't even consummate our vows right away. After all, my dear, the best gifts are the one most wanted by the recipient."

Integra wondered how he one man could be so cocky. Of course she had nothing to fear from him, she was twice the man he was, and she didn't even need dangling appendage between her legs to get there. Did he really think he was a 'gift' to her? Or that he was doing he any favors by dragging the deed out at all? She did need to produce an heir after all.

"You're right," she said, willing her eyes to be less wide. "I'm very intimidated by your…er, male presence."

She swore he giggled. She mentally thought about all the fun Alucard would poke at her if he had heard that last bit. She'd never live it down. She found that she had the gumption to feel properly ashamed at herself.

"Well, you know what they say," Percy started.

"Practice makes perfect?" she asked, trying to read his mind by thinking up the most ridiculous cheesy thing she could.

"No," he said, although he looked slightly impressed. "I was going to say 'Don't knock it until you've tried it,' but yours works too."

Integra blinked, Percy stood.

"Let's retire for the evening," he said. He must have expected her to follow him, because he proceeded to exit into the hall.

She got up and followed him, if only to see what would happen.

He had waited for her outside the door.

"Would you accompany to my rooms?" he asked politely, but Integra didn't miss the connotations behind his words.

"Perhaps for a time," she said, just as vague.

He took her hand in his. It felt odd, Up until this he had only hooked their arms, her hand in his suddenly felt extremely intimate. It made her feel small, to see her delicate phalanges against his larger ones. His hands weren't calloused like she expected, they were soft. Integra thought it was only to be expected, he was, after all a scholar. Integra had already decided that although he had been in the army, he had gotten to his position on merely name alone. His hands weren't the kind that knew weaponry.

The walk to his rooms, although a fair distance, seemed to go very fast. He opened the door, which was unlocked. A very seedy decision to make while he was aware a big scary vampire running around somewhere, in her opinion. Although the lock certainly wouldn't have stopped Alucard, she didn't think Percy knew that.

"Please come in," he insisted, pulling at her hand. She was a bit miffed at the comment, after all the rooms had only been his for a very short time, she didn't think it was right for him to be claiming them so well. After all, it was her house he was taking up residence in.

She followed.

"I'm sorry I don't have furniture yet," he said. "They just finished removing the rest of the boxes earlier this afternoon. We'll have to sit on the bed."

Integra thought that was awfully convenient, but doubted he planed it. That seemed to be giving him too much credit.

She sat down dutifully on the bed while he shuffled around, looking for god knows what.

"May I take your suit jacket?" he asked, returning to stand beside her. "You'll be more comfortable without it."

Integra handed over the jacket, suddenly wondering why she had to agree to leave the library, it seemed so much safer. Obviously he had been hinting, why did she have to be so dense?

He took the jacket and put it on a hanger, the set it down to sit on top of his chest of drawers. Integra didn't say a word, but she did begin to question the dean of Oxford and his motives.

He sat down next to her.

"Would you like to…cuddle?" he asked in a strained voice as if he were doing it to be nice.

Integra bit back a laugh. Percy mistook it for a sound of agreement and slid back on the bed, pulling Integra to him. She let him position her so that her head rested on her shoulder. She found herself thinking that they probably shouldn't be wearing their shoes on the duvet, it was an antique…

"Does this feel alright," he asked.

Integra grunted, not trusting her voice. "Shoes?" she managed to get out.

"Oh!" he said, jumping up, jostling her, "my mistake of course."

And then, before she could stop him, he moved down the bed and took off his own shoes, and placed them neatly on the floor and returned to take off _her_ shoes. Integra didn't know whether to feel indignant or flattered. She chose neutrality.

"You have lovely feet Integra," he told her. Integra, personally, didn't think anybody's feet could ever be considered 'lovely' not matter how nice they were. "There just so delicate and pale." Integra noticed he didn't add leathery and blistered from wearing boots nearly everyday of her life. However, she couldn't complain as he began to give her a very pleasant massage.

"That feels nice," she managed to murmur, and it did. Integra couldn't remember anyone ever having done this before and wondered how she had ever lived without it.

"I'm glad to please you," he answered back, a smile in his voice.

"Mmmm," she said, closing her eyes. In her delight she barely registered his massage leaving her feet and wandering up her calves. In fact it wasn't until she felt his lips on her own as the hands stopped rubbing, that she really registered anything amiss at all. She decided a bit of kissing could be allowed, after all, he did caress her smelly feet so nicely, she could return a favor if she had to.

The newness of it seemed to wear off a bit, but it still felt nice. She responded as she thought she should. Percy seemed to like her responses, that's why she was so surprised when he pulled away.

"Integra," he said with his voice heavy. "Let's take a break."

"Alright," she responded in kind. "…Why?"

Percy nuzzled against her neck, not answering.

"Integra," he asked, "what manner of virgin are you?"

"There are kinds?" she asked back.

He sighed. "Some women are more experienced than others. Sometimes a woman can still be a virgin even if she has done other acts of a sexual nature, things such as-"

"I assure you, I have done none of those things," she interrupted.

"I know," he said just as suddenly. "I wasn't referring to you, just giving an example."

"How is this conversation relevant to our situation then?"

"I was getting to that!"

Integra laughed at him, he was trying so hard and at the very least he was a good source of entertainment.

At hearing her laughter, Percy seemed to think that the situation was humorous as well, but Integra was certain it was for different reasons. In any case he joined in and soon they were laughing hysterically for no real reason at all.

"So," she finally said collecting herself. "What was your point then?"

Suddenly he looked a bit green again.

"I was just wondering what sort of experience you had," he said sheepishly, "for reference."

Integra looked at him with confusion.

"You know," he got out, "not with other people, but …you know, by yourself."

"By myself?" Integra repeated, a bit lost.

He said something so softly that she couldn't make it out.

"Excuse me?" she asked.

"You know," he said, perhaps a bit too loud this time. "Like…masturbation."

Integra was sure that the bed was going to open up and swallow her whole, it didn't.

"I know, it's not really any of my business," he said hurriedly. "I just thought, you know, it might help things along."

Integra didn't know…at all really.

"I've never really had a great desire to attempt…that sort if endeavor," she said cautiously. "I'm not entirely sure that it would have really done me any good anyway, I'm not a terribly sexual creature, and anytime I have that's free I usually use to sleep, as my schedule often only gives me a handful of hours a week."

"Ah," he said. "So, I suppose you've never had an orgasm?"

"Not even a wet dream," Integra confirmed, wondering if it was a major issue.

"Be it far from me to invade your personal decisions, Integra, but, assuming time will allot it, you should become more…aware of your body before we are to be wed."

"Isn't that your job?"

He choked on air, she supposed.

"Well, yes, but it helps if you at least have a general idea…." He rambled off. "Do you even know how?"

"Of course I know how," she snapped back. "Just because I'm a novice doesn't make me an idiot by association."

"My apologies," he said looking humbled.

But Integra wasn't listening. If there was one thing that made her riled up it was someone suggesting she didn't know what she was doing. She only knew one way to retaliate, evidence. She pulled him back towards her and tried to get him in a passionate kiss, but he forced her to slow it down as if he'd be uncomfortable at such a pace. She sighed mentally, there was just one setting with this one.

Instead she tried a new tactic, running her hand up and down his chest, trying to pull his shirt of his pants, but before she could he used his body weight to push her over onto the middle of the bed, putting her underneath him.

Well, this was a new territory. Integra felt him pressed against her and couldn't help thinking that it wasn't as much fun as it could be.

It didn't really come to a surprise to her when he started undoing the buttons on her blouse. She let him, curious to see where it might lead.

Although she was a bit exposed he didn't touch her brazier, keeping his hands firmly at her waist. She found herself slightly disappointed that he didn't take more initiative. What was the point of undoing all those buttons if he wasn't going to reap the benefits. She decided to help him.

She took the hand the had been sitting against her side and pulled it up to her left breast and pressed it against her, giving the had a squeeze, as if giving permission.

Percy made a noise and shifted his body closer to his. She felt a stiff thing in his trousers poke her uncomfortably in the leg, she decided if it had the right to bruise her, she had equal right to do the same. She let her hand wander down and cautiously bush against it, to see what would happen.

Looking back, she swore it twitched, but she didn't really get time to analyze the results.

"Integra!" shouted Percy.

"Percy?" she tried back. He just looked at her. "Did I do something wrong?"

He looked like a deer about to be hit by a car.

"Not at all," he said dumbly. "You just surprised me, is all."

She sniggered. He frowned.

"I think we're going awfully fast," he said.

"We're getting married next week and you think this is fast?"

"…yes?'

She snorted. "I have news for you," she said seriously. "Everything here happens fast. I suggest you try to keep up, otherwise you'll be left behind."

"Is that so?" he asked.

"It is," she said, getting up. "I'll see you tomorrow Percy."

The moment was ruined, she left.


	8. No Man Too Great

The walk back to her rooms seemed to last forever. The night had been a pleasant one, and considering all the terrible things that could have happened this was not at the top of her list. She walked in the welcoming darkness; it felt good after being in Percy's over lit room.

She arrived at her rooms, slightly disgusted with herself for leaving him in such a poor manner, but she would apologize in the morning. She unlocked her door and went in.

Her room was pleasantly cool after the sticky warmth of her fiancés body.

Fiancé, it sounded so odd in her mind.

"Hello Sir Hellsing," said a voice in the darkness. Integra immediately froze. "I see you didn't fuck that sorry excuse of a man yet."

Integra spun around. There, standing in front of the door she had just shut was Alucard.

"Servant," said Integra out of habit.

"Master," he spat out.

She looked at him, there was no point getting mad, he was just hurt.

"I take it you know then," she said beating down all other pretense.

"How could I not," he replied, his eyes bearing into hers. "You are my reason for existence; I tend to keep tabs on you."

Integra said nothing. Suddenly their roles felt so reversed.

"I can understand why you didn't tell me, of course; after all I'm simply a pet to be willed, a puppet really. Just another gun in the Hellsing families arsenal, nothing more," the words rolling off his tongue were well rehearsed.

Integra felt shame engulf her.

"You were in that vehicle with us?" she questioned half-heartedly already knowing the answer.

"Oh yes Integra. I was there. I watched him paw at you, giving you your first tastes of desire-"

"You had no right!" she yelled, humiliated and furious.

"I had every right!" Alucard yelled back, livid. She could feel the power radiating off of him. "You are mine to protect!"

"I am no child," she seethed. "I will-"

Alucard was across the room in an instant. Integra barely saw him move.

In the next instant he slapped her so hard across the face she could taste blood in her mouth. He took her face in his hand and pulled her to him, bringing his face right up to her, she knew he could feel her breathe against him.

"You are a child," he hissed. "Playing house with a man that will never be worthy of you. I thought I taught you better."

He pushed her to the ground where she landed with a thud.

"Are you really so blind that you can't see how worthy you are?" he asked, his voice full of suppressed rage. "Are you truly so isolated that you will let any man who asks, crawl into your bed and cheapen your flesh with unworthy lips?"

He turned around so Integra couldn't look up at him.

"Where is the leader of Hellsing?" he asked to no one. "Where is the master who could freeze enemies with ice and inspire her men with fire?"

"Alucard," she tried to get out, but he didn't want to hear it.

"Shut-up," he snapped. "Your words will only fall on deaf ears."

There was a long moment of silence. In that last sentence Integra heard the unmistakable sound of a man with tears in his voice.

"I'm sorry," she whispered to the floor.

Alucard whipped back around as if she'd insulted to him. He didn't say anything, but stared at her. Then walked over and collapsed into a chair, his head in one hand with the other limping at his side.

Integra didn't try getting up, instead she drug herself over to where was seated, not sure she could even trust her legs to stand. Once she got there she tentatively touched his leg, getting no response, she laid her head against his knee. Looking up she could see blood on his face. She closed her eyes.

"Button your godamn shirt," he snapped.

Her heart sank even lower and she complied.

"I'm sorry," she said again, finishing her task.

Alucard moved his hand and looked at her. He let her see him as well.

"I know you are," he said plainly. "However, I doubt you are as sorry as me."

His voice was so filled with disappointment, Integra felt a needy sort of regret. This wasn't supposed to happen this way. He was not supposed to reprimand her or order her around, that had been her role for so long now. She wanted to scream with the injustice of it all. He was not to blame, she was the one who had chosen to behave badly, he had every right to disregard her as his ruler.

"What now?" she asked.

He looked at her as if she were stupid.

"You marry him," Integra closed her eyes. "You produce an heir. We move on."

"Alu-"

"Don't," he said. She complied.

He raised his face to the ceiling, as if gathering himself. Then he pulled Integra up and stood up himself.

"Let's get you to bed," he said. "It's late."

She followed as he pulled her to her bed and watched as she got into it. A shadow appeared out of his hand and it turned into a piece of cloth he used to touch at the blood from her mouth where he had hit her.

"We will not be hindered," he told her as she began to fall asleep with him at her side. "We are on a mission from God."

She felt him take off her engagement ring, leaving only the Hellsing crest behind. After that she was on the edge of the place between sleep and not. She found herself wondering if maybe she had sustained a concussion.

In the vast depths of her conscious mind, one last thought echoed to her.

She might have been the master, but he would always be the teacher.

Integra remembered that night she had terrible dreams, but she could never remember there contents. She assumed that was for the best anyway.

After that night she avoided Percy altogether. He just seemed so…useless to her. Besides, it didn't help that whenever she thought of him Alucard's words floated through her mind. It was only made worse because she knew he was right.

She kept Alucard near her whenever she could, which was surprisingly difficult as he was becoming more and more difficult to find. Where once he had loved to follow her every step, now she couldn't even get him to reopen their mental link, which she had closed and he had sealed shut after the evening in the limousine. She missed him; his presence always gave her some comfort in the face of a tipsy future. Although he didn't really speak to her, he would just lurk about, keeping her company occasionally, when he thought he had to. She knew he was giving her the cold shoulder, she also knew she deserved it.

She no longer knew where they stood. There relationship had always been a constant variable…but now? She didn't know what had happened, but something had shifted and Integra was not yet used to it. She wanted their old comradeship back, his company was invaluable to her and she found herself longing for his old self. Deep down she was worried he was never going to forgive her, and she couldn't say she'd blame him if he didn't.

She knew she must follow the Queen's orders, but suddenly she was dreading a life with Percy even more than the prospect of having to cut off her own nose. The very though made her feel sick to her stomach. Why must she give up everything to someone else, for a horde of nameless faces? Was there to be nothing she could keep to herself when it was all finished?

Her selfish thoughts left her feeling guilty.

She spent the next few days throwing herself into her work, even more so than before. She refused to eat and sleep, but mostly she just refused to see Percy, but he was quite persistent. At one point he'd taken to prank calling her office phone in an attempt to get her attention. She had been so angry at his immature antics that she had yelled at him a good minute and a half straight, and then took the liberty of being temperamental to her belongings the rest of the morning.

In short, she was miserable.

Integra was, once again, at her desk working. She had given strict orders not to be disturbed by anyone. She had worked to the point where her fingers were actually bleeding from where she held her pen, her index finger where a paper cut had gotten the best of her, and where her hands were so dry that her cuticles had cracked and were sore. She didn't seem to take any notice, just continued on with her determined pace.

There was a knock on the door, breaking the silence of the room.

"Go away," she called inhospitably.

The knock repeated.

"What?" she yelled as if the person had made a very loud noise.

"Sir Integra," called a small voice. "It's me, Seras."

Integra sank back into her chair, lighting a cigar.

"You may enter," she called back.

Seras opened the door a crack, peeking her head in as if checking for danger. Apparently she found none, because a moment later her body followed her into the room. She stood at the end of the room looking out of place.

"Please sit," Integra gestured to one of the chairs.

Seras walked over and sat in one of the chairs in front of Integra's desk.

"How may I help you, Police Girl?" Integra asked. Even she could hear the exhaustion in her voice.

"I came to see you." Integra didn't bother to point out that this was obvious.

"For what ends?" she questioned.

"For a visit," said Seras noncommittally.

Integra gave her a long look, one that had made lesser people cringe in their seats.

"Well," began Seras realizing that Integra wasn't about to, "you're finally about right."  
"I am?" Integra asked, not bothering to figure out what she was on about.

"Yeah," Seras answered back. "You're in a terrible foul mood, you have huge dark circles under your eyes, you've lost weight and you snap at everyone and everything for any number of reasons….not to mention you're smoking again."

"Hmm," Integra agreed. It felt good to be back. "Have you missed me very much Police Girl?"

Seras gave her a smile that could rival a child on Christmas morning.

"I have very much Sir Integra," and in that sentence Integra knew that what she had asked in jest Seras had answered in complete honesty. "It's just not the same without you here."

"Was it so terrible, facing my absence for a few days?" Integra asked, exhaling smoke.

"Sir Integra, you might have left the mansion for a few days, but you yourself were gone a bit longer than that."

Integra felt so weary.

"You have my most sincere apologies, Seras," she said, looking her pet's fledging in the eyes. They were a very lovely shade of red now. "Was I truly so unlike myself?"

Seras gave her a look that said 'hell yes.'

Integra smiled bitterly.

"It's like…you didn't even look the same. You were all….strange. Even the way you acted was so…unusual."

Integra sighed, she wished Walter were here. His ears had been good to fall back on. Bastard.

"I think," Integra started slowly, "that perhaps for a time I was someone else….someone I might have been similar to if I hadn't been….me?" Integra felt as confused as she probably looked. "Don't worry Police Girl, I won't forget my place again."

Seras shrugged. "Sometimes it's good to be someone else, it puts things in perspective." Leave it to Seras to find the silver lining, it almost made Integra feel better. Almost.

"I feel like a right git," Integra admitted. "I-" but she couldn't find words to describe her emotion.

She could feel Seras watching her toil.

"Master was very worried about you while you were away," she told her, sensing what may be the cause of a great deal of her discomfort. "After he found out about the Queen's demands he moped about and sulked. He looked so forlorn, it was as if there was a huge massacre and he wasn't invited."

Integra snorted.

"He was devastated when he found out you'd chosen a husband so soon," Seras continued. "I think he had wanted to talk to you before you did anything. He left the very same night he found out, leaving for Chesterfield. It was horrible," Seras shuttered. "He was so…silently furious. I'd never seen him that way before."

Integra nodded, she could imagine…she still remembered that night.

"He came back when you did. He said something about your escort back, but he didn't elaborate-"

"He was our limo driver," interjected Integra. "The sneaky bastard was spying on me."

"You know he wouldn't do these things if he didn't care for you," Seras told her in a consoling tone. "It's his way. If he likes you he yells and provokes and torments. I would know, he does it to me all the time and I know he likes me, I've been working on my reverse telepathy on our link."

The look that Seras gave Integra was so devious, that Integra couldn't help but laugh out loud. "I don't think he knows yet," she confided.

"I won't tell," Integra assured her.

"Anyway," Seras said with a flush. "I just came by to welcome you back and see if you were all right."

"I'm much better now, thank you," Integra said.

"Try to get some rest," Seras recommended. "Don't worry about Alucard, he will come around with the right coaxing. He's very fond of you, you know."

Integra nodded.

"Goodnight, Sir Integra."

"Goodnight."


	9. Whispers in the Dark

But as time passed it did not appear that Alucard wanted to forgive her. If fact, if she was correct, and she probably was, not only was he still upset with her but he also seemed to have snubbed Seras after their conversation. Integra saw Seras play if off as nothing, but she had a feeling Seras was probably a bit hurt. As a result of Alucard's antics the Police Girl did spend quite a bit more time with Integra, who'd taken to doing her work at night simply so that she could avoid Percy during the day. It did a have its benefits though, Seras was quite a bit smarter than she appeared. Integra found her teaching the young draculina various aspects of hr job. Things like how much food should be ordered for the house, what war craft and ammunition was needed, how to find possible Hellsing candidates in piles of recommendation and the like. She caught on quickly and Integra was grateful for it.

Tonight Seras had asked to go to the shooting range leaving Integra all alone. She found that she didn't really have a lot of work to do, having worked so far ahead. So she went back to her rooms, if she took a nap and got up early enough she could make her rounds on the grounds before Percy even woke up…

She took off everything except her shirt and unmentionables. The laundress had already come for her night clothes. She laid down and closed her eyes. She wondered if Seras was feeling obligated to be near her, did she put her name on that last request form? She couldn't remember. She wondered what Percy had been up to lately…annoying prick…maybe she should let Alucard eat him…she could always find a new husband…

And with that she fell asleep.

Integra shot up out of her bed and was on her feet, gun in hand in the blink of an eye. Her chest was heaving as she took great gasps of air. She could feel a cold sweat all over her body, and bloody in her mouth where she had bit down on her cheek.

It was a moment before she realized she was brandishing a loaded pistol at a dark empty room, it was a few moments more before she lowered it. She sat back on the bed. She felt something slid down her face, she raised her hand to her cheek and was surprised to find herself crying.

Her? Crying? How ridiculous. She couldn't remember the last time she'd allowed herself such a trivial weakness. She searched her mind for what had caused her great distress.

Ah, her old nightmare. Her Uncle Richard in the sub basement, her pet monster's first act of loyalty to his new master, and the dawning of a new era. She thought she had left such night terrors in her childhood.

Apparently not. She got up and walked over to a table where an amber liquid sat in a crystal tumbler. She poured a good amount into the cup and drank deeply.

Her father had always told her a man should never drink alone, and he very rarely did. He drank with great swarms of people, and eventually his liver betrayed him for it. Needless, she didn't put much stock in his words.

A second glass followed her first. She'd seen the world on the brink of its own destruction and she still feared her own past? A third glass followed this statement. What nonsense. She was not a child to be frightened by the darkness.

After a while she had no idea how much she had drank, but she was certain that she would not be feeling well enough to be doing rounds on the grounds in the morning. She sat in her chair and looked at the wall, it was a ridiculous situation she found herself in. Who was Alucard to determine whether or not she was worthy of a man? He had never been one to be fussy about women, she knew that much. The rumors were that the late Angel of Death had a very good tutor indeed. This, like many other things that reached her ears, she ignored. She did not know if it was true, she did not want to know. It did not affect her.

She should give him a piece of her mind. She really should. She should march down to his little….chamber of doom, and demand that he speak to her! Was she not the master? He was not the only one who was feeling emotions they did not like. What right did he have to make her feel so awful when she was already filled with regret for her actions, fear for her future, and anger at the situation that had been presented to her?

He had no _bloody_ right!  
She got up and put on her pants and shoes, she half heartedly tucked in her shirt and left the room.

She stood in front of the door of his room. She made no move to go in. Now that she was here she felt that she had made a terrible mistake. She didn't want to yell at him, at this point she didn't even think shooting him would make her feel better.

She reached out, touching the door. He was in there, she could feel it. Even just letting her hand brush against the entrance to where he was gave her some comfort. She wanted so desperately to go in. Nothing had changed though, even if she did enter she had nothing to offer but marred words of fault and the appeal of a woman of whom he felt betrayed.

She stepped closer to the door and rested her head against it. He was in there. She let herself slide down the door. She curled herself into a ball on his threshold. She couldn't enter, but she couldn't leave either. Soon she knew she was going to have to make a decision, but for now she just wanted to be left alone to take what she could get and leave that which was thrust upon her alone.

For the second time that evening, the second time since she had found out of Walter's betrayal, she felt a black pit of despair consume her, eating her heart through her stomach. Her eyes filled with tears that were not in fear or anger as so usually they are. Her tears were ones of regret and depression. She was full of self loathing and shame. She wanted him to know, that as little as it was worth, she was filled with a sorrow that was driving her to the brink of something she couldn't name.

She sobbed there in her little ball. There were no graceful droplets from her eyes or delicate flushed cheeks. There was only a woman broken, she looked broken, her cries were broken, her posture was broken, but the thing that was broken more than anything was her heart, and she didn't know why.

She sat there the rest of the night. She knew he knew she was out there. Neither made any effort to go to the other. She wondered what he was feeling, if he knew what she did. That what they had between them had been the last good thing for both of them and without it they were little more than vessels for shit and manikins for clothes. He had been her protector, her teacher, her friend. She had been worthy of his attention, and then…this.

She supposed there was Seras, who was now a very important part of her life. Seras, of whom Alucard had extended the invitation to. For a very long time Integra hadn't been fond of her, now she didn't want to think about life without her. She was like a smaller sibling or a young child. She still had so much to learn, even Integra knew.

It was a dysfunctional family they had, and no one knew exactly what role they were playing, but it was theirs. They depended on each other. Each had not had a normal life or reliable loved ones in a very long time.

It was with a bit or irony that Integra let out a choked bitter laugh at how she had made a half crazed support unit out of the very creatures she was supposed to be protecting the world from. She began to wonder when she gave up on the people she was sworn to protect.

Integra fell asleep in a ball on the floor that night. She could have gotten up and went back to her own room, but she found that she would rather be on a cold uneven stone floor near him then in a comfortable bed not. She took comfort in it.

The next day Integra woke up to a pitch black room. In fact, the only reason she knew it was day at all was because she lit up her wrist watch to tell her such. It was pushing noon. She didn't know where she was, the room seemed completely bare except for the place where she had woken up, and a strange chair and table.

Then it hit her. She was sleeping in a coffin. Her hand immediately shot to her neck. No holes, firm pulse, warm skin. She let relief fill her. She looked down. The coffin was black lacquered with a soft ivory interior.

It was Alucard's. She let out a small strangled sound.

If she was here, where was he? No matter, she knew normal rules of vampires didn't apply to him; he was probably tormenting some poor maid, or getting a snack.

How did she get in there? She remembered falling asleep. Alucard must have picked her up and brought her here.

She felt a twinge in her chest. That he didn't simply leave her there to wake up stiff and cold in the morning said a lot, but what said even more was where he put her. He was very protective of his last domain. The fact that he had chosen to place her there instead of her own rooms said worlds.

She got up, being sure to be careful with his most precious procession. She tucked her shirt in a bit better and found her shoe, which she assumed he must have removed for her, on the floor near the door.

Despite a raging headache Integra couldn't help feeling like she'd been given a wonderful gift.

She made her way up to her rooms, she was just going to shower and face the day. She had had plenty of rest now, a little bit of tea and some drugs and she'd start burning daylight. It was going to be a productive day, she could feel it.

She was almost to her rooms when she heard a voice behind her.

"Integra!" she didn't even need to turn around. "Where the devils have you been? I've been worried sick about you!"

"I was in the basement," she said over her shoulder.

"What, with that creature?" he asked, practically running to keep up with her fast stride.

"Why else would I venture down there? Really, the decorating is just terrible."

"Don't joke," he said. "I've been searching for you! I couldn't find you, and the maid said you weren't in your office or bedroom. You didn't even have the decency to leave me a note!"

Integra was at her rooms, she threw the doors open in a flourish.

"Talk to me you infernal woman!" Percy yelled at her, stepping into her rooms for the first time. "What did you need to be with that abomination for anyway?"

Integra ignored him.

"I want answers!" he yelled. Integra lit a cigar.

"You don't need answers," she told him point blank. "You are not my keeper, once more it is not yet your place to worry for my well being, I assure you I am very well armed in any situation."

"Wha-" he began outraged.

"Let's not pretend this is more than its face value," she continued. "I need a husband to pacify her Majesty. I do not want to marry you, I don't even really like you very much. You are, honestly, a bane on my existence and you've caused more problems then you've solved."

She took a drag, and then continued.

"Furthermore," she said calmly, "You are here to serve a purpose, so you'd do well to keep your nose clean and head down. You are not irreplaceable, quite the opposite, actually."

Percy had the audacity to look hurt, she was sickened.

"Don't be so put out," she told him sourly "Please don't mistake any of my past actions as anything more than trying to lure you in, or in the case of our more intimate moments, sheer curiosity. I am a very cruel woman, and to me you are little more than a sperm donor. Your righteous anger will get us nowhere."

And with that she went into her bathroom, locking the door behind her, leaving him behind alone in her room.

She found that, after her display, she felt much better. A very productive day indeed.

Integra sat at her desk, putting things into various piles. She liked the chaos of her desk to be somewhat organized, even if she was the only one that understood its madness. People had been coming in all day interrupting her work. The wedding was two days away and she'd waited until the last minute to get everything ready. Indeed, as an eager bride she was a miserable failure.

The phone rang.

"Hello?" she answered. "Ah, yes, the flowers, I recall speaking with you now."

There was a pause.

"I don't have wedding colors," she told the person on the other line. "Whatever is least expensive will suffice quite nicely, I should imagine."

And with that she hung up.

This wedding thing was quite easy. She wondered why people always made such a fuss.

"You do know," said a voice at the door, "that now you are going to end up with lime green roses or something equally as horrid now don't you?"

"Good evening Seras," Integra said, not looking away from her desk. "Is it dusk already? But you're up, so it must be."

"Yes, it's such a beautiful evening!" Integra had noticed that Seras had been quite chipper the last few days. She imagined that she must have made up with her master.

"What do you think Seras," Integra asked holding up two pieces of fabric. "Lace or silk?"

Seras squealed, Integra thought she heard glass break somewhere.

"For you're dress?" she asked excited.

Integra laughed.

"Hardly," she said. "For the table cloths. I was planning on wearing my uniform."

Seras gave her an incredulous look. Integra shrugged.

"Let me help?" asked Seras, looking excited.

Integra smiled and waved at her desk where she had a cornucopia of wedding things spread out before her.

Seras dug in the pile at once. Integra watched her amused. She decided to let Seras have her fun, she wasn't likely to be married and Integra simply didn't care what anybody else thought. In fact, she was secretly hoping that everything would look so ridiculous that Percy would have to rage silently.

"Police Girl," Integra said suddenly, a thought occurring to her. "I think I have a request to make of you."

"Yes?" said Seras looking up from a book of food choices for the after reception.

"I still require a bridesmaid for the ceremony," she said, wondering if this was a good idea. "Would you be willing to do me the honor?"

Seras shook her head 'no.'

"I couldn't," she said regrettably. "I can't yet walk in daylight without being in a quite a great deal of pain, and the wedding is to be held in the gardens."

Integra inclined her head in acknowledgement. Percy had wanted it in a church, but she had refused. There was nothing holy about their matrimony.

"And if the wedding was moved until dusk?" she asked. "Do you think you could manage then?"

It was then that Seras gave her a look of so much gratitude that it made Integra uncomfortable.

"You would do that?" Seras asked, looking on the verge of an emotion Integra couldn't quite yet identify.

"Your presence means a great deal to me," Integra said, bowing her head. "You might be the only person there that I can stand, and that includes the groom."

Seras grinned at her.

"What about Master?" she asked coyly. "Can you no longer stand him?"

Integra looked at her curiously, wondering what she knew that she didn't.

"I doubt he'll attend," she said. Really, she hoped he wouldn't. It would only hurt that much more.

"How about white cotton?" asked Seras.

"Excuse me?"

"For the table cloths, it's less expensive and afterwards we can use them around the mansion."

"Excellent idea," Integra noted. "While we're at it, why don't we throw some fertilizer in with the throwing rice? That way we can give the grass a small boost."

Seras laughed.


	10. Only Through Christ We See

It was the day, the wedding day. Integra was a lump of nerves, but she was determined not to let everyone see how frazzled and emotionally imbalanced she really was. On the inside she was in a locked room screaming and throwing herself against impenetrable walls, trying to find an escape she knew wasn't there. On the inside her heart was bleeding and her eyes were closed to what they refused to acknowledge. On the outside, it was quite a different matter.

Her long platinum hair was in an intricate…pattern? She didn't know what to call it. The hairdresser had spent a good four hours pulling at it and putting large quantities of creamy looking substances and sprays into it. It had seemed like a terrible waste of time and effort at the time, but looking at it now even she would admit it looked impressive.

Seras had insisted on doing her make-up. Integra had made her swear she wouldn't make her look like a hussy. Seras had crossed her heart and offered Integra a pinky she found out later she was supposed to clasp with her own. It had taken another half of an hour and Integra didn't even want to know what the Police Girl was smearing all over her face.

She was almost ready; it was almost time for her to take the most impossible of plunges. Outside she could see the guests seated and the wedding minions making their final touches.

"Seras," said Integra forcing herself to look away. "Help me into my uniform."

Seras looked up from where she had been finishing her own cosmetics.

"Uh," mumbled Seras. "About that…"

Integra's eyes narrowed. "What did you do?"

Seras threw her hands up in defense. "I didn't do anything, I swear!"

Integra continued to stare.

"It's just that," she continued. "Well-" without finishing her sentence Seras briskly walked out of the room. Integra thought perhaps she had ran away from fear of what would Integra would do when she found about out whatever tomfoolery she'd been up to.

Integra sighed; maybe it was for the best. She would just be married in her bathrobe, that way if she threw up, as she feared she might, she wouldn't have to have her uniform dry-cleaned.

But before Integra could entertain herself with images of Percy being forced to marry her in a towel and curlers Seras had returned with a package in tow.

"Here," she said thrusting it towards her. "I thought this might be more suitable."

Integra took the parcel. It was obviously protecting some sort of formal wear. Integra wanted to just hand it back to Seras in protest, but the Police Girl had gone above and beyond on everything else in a very short period of time, and Integra thought she owed her to at least look at it. Then she could say no anyway.

She unzipped the front of the protective cover and pulled out the offending item.

It did look impressive, even on the hanger. It was elegant, intricate in an antique sort of way. It was a soft cream color, not white. Integra was glad, she despised white. It was a beautiful dress. She had half a mind to wear it.

"Please at least try it on," begged Seras. "If you hate it we can always take it back off."

Integra nodded in consent. It couldn't hurt to put it on, after all.

Seras helped her slip on the required undergarments that went with the dress (which had mysteriously appeared, Integra had a sneaking suspicion she was being hoodwinked) which included a corset like…thing, some sort of cotton under suit and what appeared to be a few petticoats.

Seras had a time figuring some of the more intricate details out, but in the end Integra felt reasonably sure that everything was how it was supposed to be, and if it wasn't she doubted anyone would really notice.

"Finished," Seras declared after she tugged a bit at the bottom of the gown. "Oh, Sir Integra!"

Looking in the mirror Integra could see what Seras meant by the exclamation. In the mirror standing in front of her was a beautiful woman who looked like an elegant bride and a radiant atonement to her gender. Integra felt it was a pity such an impressive appearance had to be wasted on such a terrible day.

"Will you wear it?" Seras asked breathless.

"Yes," Integra resounded, turning to study herself at different angles. "I think this will suffice."

Seras clapped her hands. "Excellent," she said.

"Oh," said Integra. "But I do have to piss, help me out of this."

Seras instantly looked like someone told her she was going to have to build a pyramid.

"Just joshing," Integra said with an impish grin at the last minute.

Seras let out a breath. "Don't scare me like that."

"Mmmm," said Integra, still highly amused by her little joke.

While Integra basked in her moment, Seras went over to a box where she had been pulling out various things the whole evening. First the cosmetics, then the perfume. Now it seemed she was looking for something else.

"There's a bit more," said Seras into the box. "One mo."

Integra watched her pull out a cream box that matched the dress, followed by a pair of dress slippers.

"I _have _been hoodwinked," she mumbled to herself. Seras walked over grinning, having heard her with her enhance hearing.

"These shoes go with the dress," she said, bending down to her knees to put them on Integra's feet, who couldn't do it herself due to the sheer amount of cloth she was wearing. She slipped them on gently, as if Integra were something to be careful with. Integra felt a momentary swell of affection for the girl at her feet.

Seras then rose to her feet from her knees in a graceful movement no human could have ever accomplished.

"This," she said, retrieving the box, "is very special. They go with the dress." Seras opened the box and inside Integra saw a small country's worth of jewelry, it looked expensive.

"How much did you spend Seras?" Integra asked, impressed nonetheless.

"Oh," said Seras sheepishly. "Not a dime, actually. But you're not allowed to ask!" she said as Integra opened her mouth to speak. "Just know that they're gifts, okay?"

Integra nodded, satisfied that Seras' word was answer enough.

First, Seras took an old looking comb from it's velvet bed and placed it gingerly in Integra's hair. Next she took out a bracelet that reminded Integra of one that her mother had worn when she was a girl and clasped it to her right hand. This was followed by a set of gold chandelier earrings with ruby accents.

Then, just when Integra was wondering if all the cloth and precious metal on her body was going to allow her to walk, Seras pulled out the remaining piece of jewelry. It was a large ruby, the biggest Integra had ever seen. Its color was deep and it sparkled with a fire Integra had never seen in a diamond. It was surrounded by the same gold as everything else, the same gold that set off her cream colored dress so well. The chain was thick and it when Seras placed it around her neck it fell perfectly against her white skin.

Seras took a step back, looking at her master's master.

"Oh, sir Integra," she said at last. "You're so beautiful; I think you're the best looking woman I've ever seen!"

"Don't be ridiculous," Integra said covering her secret pleasure. "Every bride looks good on her wedding day, that's how it's supposed to be. Besides, you shouldn't get your knickers in a twist for me Seras; I'm to be a married woman this night. Besides, the iron virgin couldn't possibly harbor secret lesbian tendencies; it would make all the rumors so much less creative."

Seras laughed, wiping bloody tears away with a bit of toilet paper she's used earlier to blot Integra's cosmetics.

Integra took her free hand in her own.

"Let's be off Police Girl, the sooner this night ends the better."

Seras blushed.

"Uh," she started. "Speaking of tonight," she lowered her voice and made Integra stop pulling her toward the front doors by pulling her close. Integra lowered her head to show that she was listening. "Are you really planning to – you know- with him?"

"I am supposed to produce an heir, Seras," Integra said in her normal voice, but then dipped her head even closer to Seras, lowering her voice. "But, no, Police Girl, I'm not. Not if I can help it."

Then she gave the young vampire a wink and once again took her hand and pulled her to the direction of the front doors where she would begin her walk down the isle. Seras followed obediently. Integra had a feeling that Seras knew she wasn't really taking her hand to lead her, or keeping her so close just so that she could make her fetch things if need be, and she was grateful that there was an unspoken comfort between them, Integra didn't think she could have made the walk on her own.

Their walk took forever and at the same time went by in the blink of an eye. Integra thought her stomach was trying to rearrange itself.

"We're here," stated Seras obviously after they had stood there a moment. There was a bustle of servants around them trying to get the wedding party arranged in order to take the walk, no one seemed to notice them yet. "It looks like we're a bit early."

But by the time Seras had finished her sentence people had in fact noticed Integra, and she thought the way they openly gawked was downright rude. The ladies complimented her and touched her dress. Integra made a point to be polite, but felt suffocated.

"Right," called a woman to the left of Integra. "Places everyone, the music is about to start."

Integra felt her throat sink into her pelvis. There was a flurry of motion around her and people slowly started disappearing down a carpet leading to what Integra was mentally referring to as her 'doom.'

She watched as another set of people began to walk the plank. She wanted so desperately to run.

"Did you like my present?" asked a hauntingly familiar voice behind her. She whipped around.

"Alucard!" she exclaimed. A bubble of happiness shot to her chest, somehow his presence made the whole ordeal easier to swallow. "Present?" she asked?

He gave he an insane smile.

"Why, your attire, my Master."

Integra looked down at herself. Yes, it did seem the sort of thing he would pick out. It was rather a bittersweet gift, actually.

"Although," he said, interrupting her looking. "You did forget something."

Integra was surprised. She did?

"I did?" she asked.

He didn't say anything. Instead he took her left hand and raised it up. On her hand sat the ring Percy had given her. He took it off gently and tossed it over his shoulder, Integra couldn't bring herself to care. In its place he slipped on something else, something she wasn't expecting.

It was the crest ring the Queen had given her at Chesterfield. She felt a tide of emotion hit her and she had to beat it down.

"And," Alucard continued, "you should probably carry these."

He handed her an assortment of red roses. "The florist brought you terrible orange hydrangeas; I tossed them out and plucked these from the garden. They are much more fitting, wouldn't you agree?"

She nodded, not trusting her voice.

"It's almost our turn," Alucard said, looking ahead of them.

"Our?" Integra managed the word, but her voice cracked. Alucard looked at her sharply.

"Yes," he said. "Our turn, I'll not make you take this walk alone, Master." He took her hand and pulled it through his bent arm; she noticed that he was wearing a very smart tuxedo she hadn't registered before.

"Besides," he went on, they were next. "You are mine to give away, wouldn't you agree?"

And on that note they took their first steps down the isle.

Integra was so thankful for his presence. She could even feel him in her mind, a connection that had been severed since Chesterfield. It felt good, like coming home. He was invaluable to her on that arduous walk. When her knees buckled and her feet refused to move he gave her strength, when her she felt her hand begin to visibly tremble he took it and intertwined his own fingers to stop the shaking, when she could feel the bile rising in her throat it was him in her mind soothing her conscious, making her hold it down.

Then they were in front of the alter. Integra turned to Alucard, she was afraid to let go. Her eyes filled again with tears and it occurred to her that all she did lately was cry. He pressed a handkerchief into her hand. She pressed it to her face before her make-up could run. It smelled like him, like blood and gunpowder.

"You look beautiful," he told her. She smiled. She still didn't let go, she knew that she was taking much to long, and she could practically feel Percy's angry gaze on her. She didn't care. She didn't care that people were beginning to whisper, and although few recognized Alucard, that the ones who did were put out by presence. She didn't let go.

Alucard released her hand and removed his arm from hers. She stood in front of him; she felt a balloon in her chest on the brink of bursting. He nodded his head toward Percy, but she still didn't move. She couldn't, she just couldn't.

Alucard gave her a long look, then leaned foreword and gave her a soft kiss on her forehead. She felt her face wrinkle up. As he pulled away he pushed at her shoulders, forcing her towards her fate.

She turned and stepped onto the platform, Alucard's handkerchief still clutched in her hand. She put on a cold beautiful face and stared at Percy. Internally she could feel Alucard as he left the ceremony, he didn't want to be here to see it, and she was glad he did. She didn't want him to see it either.

"What were you _doing_?" hissed Percy under his breath as the preacher went on about the fruit of marriage or some such nonsense. "Why are _they_ here?" he asked, indicating to Seras who was standing behind her, looking a bit worried through a waterfall of tears at the display previously. She might have been the only one there who had recognized the exchange for what it was; a goodbye.

Integra didn't answer. She didn't owe him any explanation. He was, after all, just a sperm donor.

When the time came for Percy to slip the ring onto Integra's finger, he was surprised to see the Hellsing crest in its place. He looked up at her. Integra gave him a look, daring him to try and take it off. Instead he took her right hand and slipped it on her index finger there instead.

She rejoiced for her small victory.

When the ceremony was on the brink of being finished, the clergyman told Percy he may kiss his bride. He moved closer to her, but Integra stepped back and instead offered him the hand bearing the Hellsing crest, a hand that was clutching a piece of linen that belonged to an undead king. He kissed it, but first he gave her a glare. She just smiled at him.

Their first walk together as man and wife left Integra feeling empty and thirsty at the same time.


	11. From Here to You

The reception had gone well. Integra had danced with all the right people and thanked them for attending, playing the gracious hostess. She sat through dinner, a few speeches, a few toasts, and a table that Seras accidentally sat on fire. The whole while she did it with a smile playing at her lips, even she was impressed by her acting.

After a long night, it was insisted by the guests that the bride and groom retire for the evening. With a few hoots and an odd lascivious remark Integra and her new husband made their way to the house, and ultimately her bedroom.

She allowed him to watch her change. She took her time putting her wedding clothes on proper hangers and taking off her jewelry. She even took the liberty of going into the bathroom and going through her nightly routine of washing her face, brushing her teeth and flossing. When she was done she came out wearing her pajamas, a long sleeved button up shirt and matching pants.

Percy didn't seem too hindered by her attempts to thwart him. He was sitting on the bed reading Integra's personal Bible when she finally re emerged.

"Done yet?" he asked her. She gave him a fake smile. He patted the bed next to him. She walked over and got under the covers. He turned off the lights, and reached for her in the darkness.

Integra pushed him away. "One moment please," she said. "I have to say my prayers."

There was a pause.

"Alright," Percy said after a moment. "Go on then."

Integra sat up and clasped her hands together. She stayed that way, and it wasn't long until she could hear the steady breaths of a sleeping man. Integra smiled to herself. One night down, a life time's more to go.

She eased herself below the sheets, feeling awkward in her own bed. She kept to her side she didn't want to accidentally touch him in the night, the scum.

She fell into a rigid sleep.

It was later that same night that she awoke to the buttons on her blouse being undone. She turned over and, sure enough, there was Percy. He had leaned around her and began to undress her. She tried to think fast, but she couldn't think up a permanent solution short of killing him. Instead she lay back as he took off her top and began to kiss her neck.

She thought it felt odd, having him grope at her breasts and pull at her pants. She found that if this was sex, she really didn't care for it very much. Soon she was very much in just a pair of cotton panties, she felt exposed and dirty.

That's when an idea hit her. It wasn't flawless, but it might save her by the skin of her teeth. Quickly she rolled herself over and pressed her nearly naked body against Percy's still nearly fully clothed one. She began kissing him back, trying to take off as much of his clothing as fast as possible. It wasn't that difficult, he was eager to help. She kissed him hard, trying to distract him long enough to come up with a plan.

She didn't quite get the chance to before he began to reach for her underwear. She pulled away as subtly as she could, trying to play dumb.

"I've never seen a naked man before," she said trying to play the shy maiden. It was a blatant lie, of course. She'd seen quite a few naked men. She'd studied anatomy, once one of the Wild Geese had thought it would be fun to streak through her office, stopping long enough to do a little naked jig in front of her desk, and she'd even once accidentally walked in on a naked Walter as a young girl. He was slightly more attractive then, the bastard.

"It's alright," he told her. "Take a good look, I can understand a young girls curiosity."

Personally, Integra wouldn't have minded stabbing him in the eye with a dull pencil, but kept up her charade.

"Are you quite large?" she asked, looking at his (what she assumed to be) erect penis.

"I'm good sized," he said, watching her study him.

She privately wondered how dense this man was. Did he really think she was suddenly swept off her feet by his sweaty, hairy, sticky body? And that flesh appendage staring up at her didn't really appeal to her either, it was rather ugly.

"Well," questioned Percy after a moment. "Are you going to touch me?"

Integra pulled herself out of her stupor.

"I didn't know if I was allowed," she tried, the truth was she didn't really care to at all, but it didn't really fit into her plan.

Percy gave her a warm look, Integra once again repressed the urge to shoot him. How could one be so cocky? (she sniggered internally at her own word choice)

"Of course you're allowed," he told her. "We're _married _now."

How dare he talk to her like she was some sort of idiot! She reached down and grabbed…it, making sure to squeeze just a bit too hard for comfort. She felt satisfied when he let out a small yelp.

"Think soft, Integra," he told her, coaching her hand with his own. "It's not a gun, after all. You don't _clench_ it."

She smiled at him, he let go of her hand apparently satisfied that she'd do better the second time around. She didn't really stroke him, instead she just sort of caressed him. He hissed and threw back his head.

"Gods yes, Integra," he breathed out. "Just like that."

She rolled her eyes, knowing he couldn't see her.

"Ooo," he said. "You'll want to stop soon, or I'll-"

"Oh, just a bit longer?" she said in a voice she hoped sounded eager.

He grunted in agreement. Finally she took him in a fist and began stroking him hard.

"Integraaaaa," he cried out, bucking his hips into her. "Oh, you have to stop darling-"

"But I want to watch," she said dully. It didn't really matter how her tone was, he was in no state to pick up subtleties.

And with that she increased her pace, stopping occasionally to give him a little squeeze or tug.

He made the strangest sounds, like a dying animal. He jerked around and he was all covered in a sweaty film. All in all Integra was rather disgusted.

"Integra," he said quickly. She hated the way he said her name. "I'm going to spill- gaah!" On that note she had a handful of mess.

It was all a matter of avoidance after that. Percy only seemed good for about one round. She politely declined his offer to lay on top of her, he called it 'spooning.' Instead she kissed him on the mouth and told him to rest, that she was more than pleased with their wedding night. Then she tucked him, he went to sleep easily and left her to go wash her tainted hand in the bathroom.

After she had finished tidying up, Integra found it downright impossible to want to get back into bed with her overgrown baboon of a husband. Instead she decided to wander the halls of Hellsing to perhaps make her feel enough fatigue to want to sleep.

She had never really intended to go see Alucard, that's why she was so surprised when she once again found herself outside his door. She turned around, fully intending to go somewhere less dangerous, when the door opened a crack, a beam of light escaped the room.

"Please come in," Alucard's voice rang in her ears. She pushed in the door, stepping into the light. "I thought maybe you would come visit me."

Integra didn't say anything, she just looked at him.

"Please, have a seat," and with a wave of his hand another chair appeared next to him. Integra walked over and sat down. "How was your evening?"

To Integra the question sounded innocent enough, but she understood everything that it represented, so she laughed.

"I must say, I didn't enjoy it as much as he did," Integra watched his brow furrow.

"Was he really so disappointing?" he asked. "Stupid swine, he shouldn't even be allowed to look at you, let alone touch."

"Oh," said Integra casually, "he didn't get to do as much touching as he would have liked. He just couldn't turn down my girlish curiosity, and soon I wore him out."

The comment was intended to put Alucard at ease, but it had the opposite effect, she watched him tense, trying to derive her meaning.

"That is," she tried again. "He was please that I would go to such _lengths_ to sedate my curiosity, while giving him a much needed _release_."

"Honestly," said Alucard, catching her meaning, "why can't you just say you wanked him off and be done with it?"

"I thought we were trying to be subtle," she answered back. "Besides, I didn't know that was what it was called."

Alucard gave her a look of mixed pity and relief.

"At least he didn't defile you," he said somewhat coolly, "even if he did leave you uneducated and scarred."

"Well, he did take a great deal of fun in getting me naked and groping at my chest." Integra said unhappily. "I think I was supposed to enjoy it, but I just felt like a cow being badly milked, does that count as education?"

Alucard stared at her.

"What?" she asked. "I thought we had given up on being subtle."

"I stand corrected," he said thickly. "He did give you an education, a half assed, incomplete and remedial lesson in the very fine art of pig sex."

Integra sniggered.

"Are all men so…ridiculous?" she asked. Alucard grinned.

"No," he said. "Just the vast majority."

Integra sighed. "I don't know how long I can keep him out my knickers, he's very persistent."

Alucard laughed. Hard.

"Well," she shrugged, as he threw his head back. "Anyway, I do want to thank you for you…assistance at the wedding today."

Alucard sobered immediately.

"Tell him you're menstruating," he said unabashedly. "It will give you a week of peace, as long as you make it perfectly clear that your religious convictions don't allow you to fornicate while you're unclean."

Integra noticed the intentional change in topic.

"I'm trying to thank you-" she tried again,

"Don't," he said in a harsh voice. "Forget it Integra, that time had passed us. We have to move on now."

She looked at the wall. She wanted to know how much what he had done meant to her, but she also knew he was right. Her thanks would be ignored.

"The idea of being 'unclean' is a Catholic and Jesuit idea, not Protestant," she tried instead.

"Do you honestly think he'll know that?" he asked, making a vast statement of his opinion of Percy.

"No," she said.

"Exactly," he answered.

There was a long pause, there was everything and nothing to say.

"I should go to bed," Integra said at last. Alucard cast a hand toward the door, inviting her to leave. "Alucard…are we alright now?"

He didn't answer at first.

"Some things can't be fixed, Master," he said slowly. "We can never go back to where we were, but I think the future is looking less dire than it once did."

She soaked up the double meaning in his words.

"Good," she said finally, then moved to leave.

"Master," he said as she reached the door, she paused. His voice sounded softer than normal. "I understand," he said slowly and clearly, his meaning deliberate. "You are more than welcome, Integra."

Integra left the room with a smile on her face. She loved how he said her name. What a wedding night indeed.


	12. Sickness Envies Us

It was soon quite clear that producing an heir was going to be quite more difficult than once anticipated. Integra had a hell of time making sure Percy had absolutely no reason to be able to get her in his bed. She had to use Alucard's suggested excuse after only a few meager days, and it bought her some much needed rest. It was exhausting her, being evasive and sneaky. She was really beginning to wonder why she didn't just shoot him and be done with it.

On this night she was officially open season, as Alucard had only bought her a weeks worth of time. She did have another plan up her sleeve, and was in the process of executing it. She was once again at her desk, papers splayed out in front of her. Even Percy couldn't tell her that his needs came before Hellsing's, so she was quite prepared to work all night if need be. It was grasping at straws, she knew, but she was running out of options.

She set in, signing, reading, shredding, making corrections, etc. It was almost medicinal, the constant pattern of her work. She let it fill her, giving her purpose her life otherwise lacked.

Integra knew it wouldn't be long until Percy noticed she wasn't coming to bed. Sure enough she had only skimmed the surface of her workload when she heard a brisk polite knock on her door, and knew she had been caught.

"Come in Percy," she called.

"No," said a cheerful voice. "Not Percy."

It was Seras, Integra felt relief she didn't know possible.

"Good evening, Police Girl," she said. "Please join me."

Seras came into the room and pulled up a chair to Integra's desk, and began to help her with the paperwork without being asked. Integra appreciated the company.

"So," started Seras, "still using evasive tactics?"

Integra looked at her hopelessly.

"The man is an animal," Integra told her. "It's like he thinks he's on the hunt or some other such nonsense."

Seras giggled.

"Has he made a hit yet?" Seras asked, finding the situation much more humorous than Integra did.

Integra, who had always thought females were extraordinarily simple creatures who sat around and gossiped about womanly things in hushed tones and plotted against their husbands, suddenly found the appeal in having a fellow companion of her same gender a blessing and in that moment every girl in Integra's book went up a notch, simply for having a vagina.

"Oh, he's certainly been trying," she told her with regret. "He keeps trying to corner me to get the jump on me."

Seras laughed, making Integra also find something funny about the whole ridiculous thing.

"You should tell him you have genital warts," Seras told her.

"I'm saving that one until our anniversary."

Seras laughed again. Integra shook her head.

They worked in silence for a moment, occasionally interrupted by a girlish giggle from Seras.

"Seras," said Integra suddenly. "When was the last time you drank your blood?"

Immediately Seras looked guilty and Integra had her answer.

"You have to drink, Police Girl," Integra told her seriously. "The organization needs you to be in top form."

Seras looked at the desk. "Does it matter?" she asked bitterly. "I'm just a failed science experiment, after all.'

Integra gave her a long look. "What gives you that idea?"

Seras looked up, reminding Integra much of a lost kitten.

"It's Master," she said with sadness in her voice. "It's been so quiet lately, he's been using all our free time to try and teach me things. He always gets so mad, I never do anything right. I think he regrets ever turning me at all."

Integra understood what it felt like to feel like you were the most incompetent person in the world.

"Seras," she said, catching her attention. "If you drink your blood I'm sure you'll do much better in your lessons."

Integra saw how forlorn Seras looked and wanted to make her feel better.

"You can never go back," Integra told her simply. "You will never be human again, whether you drink your blood or not. You can only decide whether you want to give up on this new life or embrace it and use it to your advantage." Integra tried to make her voice soothing. "I'd drink the blood, it is donated after all."

Seras gave her a weak smile, Integra hoped her message had sunk in.

"Why don't I go get something to drink right now?" Seras asked, getting up to leave. Integra gave her a smile. "Be back in a mo."

Integra watched her leave. There might be some hope for that one yet.

Integra went back to her paperwork.

Soon, she heard another knock on her door.

"That was fast Seras," she said as way of welcoming her in.

"No," said a male voice. "Not Seras, Percy."

Integra internally smacked her head.

"Hello," she tried to say pleasantly. "What brings you here?"

"My wife," he answered neutrally.

"Ah," she responded. "Well, as you can see, I have quite a lot of work to do. I think it's going to be a very long night."

He walked in and sat himself in the chair that Seras had previously occupied.

"Why don't you try and let me help you?" he suggested. "After all, you did say after we were married that I'd be more involved."

Integra doubted very much that she said that, as she recalled she only told him that he'd be more occupied with his time.

"Actually, Percy, I have already got someone else to help me, besides I thought I'd put you in charge of some of our military units."

He snorted. "I'd much rather assist you than play with guns, Integra." He looked around. "In any case I don't see anyone assisting you now, why don't you let me?"

Integra gave him a hard look.

"Why don't you go to bed _dear_," she suggested, spitting out the word. "After all, one of us should be well rested."

He sighed. "I know what's going on Integra."

She sincerely doubted that, but decided to humor him, it could be entertaining after all.

"I know what you've been doing," he said confidently. "It's the same thing that you did when we were engaged. I want you to know I understand, and I _forgive_ you."

Integra made a disgruntled noise.

"I think it's personally reasonable that you would be intimidated by our blossoming relationship," he told her. "I can fully comprehend why you'd want to avoid your new husband, lie about your monthly tide, and put off your work until ungodly hours of the night."

So, he wasn't as stupid as he looked. The man wasn't dumb, just so bloody conceited. She chose not to say anything, but to see what he would give away to her.

"You're just a bit shy, is all," he said getting up and walking around her to desk where she sat. "It makes perfect sense that a maiden as chaste as yourself would be hesitant to give herself so freely to any man, including myself."

She almost shuddered, almost.

"It's _alright_, Integra," he told her as if consoling a small child. "I am a patient man."

She snarkled. He smiled.

"Tell me," he asked, pushing one of his hands into her hair, forcing her to look up at him. "Would it please you if I were to pleasure you right here, on this desk?"

Integra looked up at him, eyes wide with incredulousness. "Not it if it would disturb my papers," she told him honestly. He gave her a funny look.

"Sir Hellsing," said an angel's voice from the other end of the room. "I brought the document you requested."

"Ah," said Integra, jumping up suddenly. "Thank you, Seras. Percy, this is my personal assistant, Seras Victoria."

"Oh," he said, clearly disappointed by her presence. "You're the one everybody calls 'Police Girl.'"

"Her name," said Integra through gritted teeth, "is Seras Victoria, not _Police Girl_."

"Indeed," he said, clearly unimpressed. "Well, I suppose I'll just tuck in then, shall I?"

He slid off her desk, his plan foiled. Integra watched his retreating back with relief. Seras waited until he was out of the room before she shut the door, and locked it, tucking the skeleton key that usually sat in the door safely into her pocket, securing it with a delicate pat.

Then she looked at Integra, her eyes full of mirth.

"That bloody idiot," she said. "He didn't even notice I wasn't holding any papers." And with that she pulled out a blood pack and shoved a straw in it, drinking it like a juice box.

Integra collapsed into her chair, letting out a sigh of relief. At least she had bought herself a few more hours. She sat there and marveled for a moment at just how self-centered her husband was, then turned to Seras.

"Be a sport Seras," she said. "Go ahead and introduce Percy to Alucard tomorrow, make sure he's hungry."

Seras sniggered. "I don't even think Master wants to eat that, you know how he feels about the scum of the earth."

"Indeed," agreed Integra. "And I don't think he'd look to good splattered against the wall. Pity."

Seras choked a bit on her blood, and then snorted. She put the blood pack down and started walking toward Integra seductively.

"Integra," she said mimicking Percy's voice. "Would you like it if I ravished you right there in the fire pit? I know how you young virgins like to be dirty in _dirty_ places." Then she winked. Integra through an ink well at her, before succumbing to the same infectious happiness that Seras seemed to be ridden with.

"Oh," said Integra smiling. "Poor bloke, I think his sex beam needs repair."

"Not repaired," said Seras, "he just needs to point it at someone besides himself."

Time flew by in a very slow way. Soon Integra was married a month, and she was convinced it was killing her in a very slow way. She managed to keep Percy at a reasonable distance, but the details began to blur together.

She finally convinced him to be the head of the Division Q. He took the job rather reluctantly, but he was getting a bit stir crazy and she simply wouldn't let him do anything else. He did a reasonably good job, and she was satisfied.

Meanwhile Integra was trying to think of ways she could acquire a child that would look at least reasonably like her and Percy. Not that it would be easy, she had platinum hair and golden skin, he had perfect features and a lanky build. It wasn't easy to combine the two. Then there was the whole business of making him think they'd had amazing pig sex, which she supposed if she got him drunk enough would be fairly manageable, except she'd never seen him drink. Really, the while plan was hopeless, even if everything went according to plan she knew Alucard would never answer to a master that wasn't of her loins.

She did most of her thinking these days, at a desk with faux papers scattered around it. There were, suspiciously, no attacks recently and she'd finished everything else. So she took to sitting there for long periods of time, doing nothing except reading or smoking her cigars. She refused most meals, simply because if she took them Percy would want to join her, and she was beginning to find his very existence irksome. She also refused to go to bed, because it was like sending a Jew into a gas chamber and expecting it to come back out cheerful and well fed. So, aside from the occasional cat nap she got in her office, she didn't sleep either.

It wasn't that bad though. She'd felt a bit off the past few days, but she suffered through it, still not ready to give in to her obnoxious spouse yet.

Today, she would admit, it was a bit worse. Her head hurt and she felt wretched. She was glad the leather on her chair was so soft and cool, because she felt rather sticky and hot. She curled herself into it, her book (Lolita) didn't seem to be a good choice given her circumstances, and she wanted desperately a cup of tea.

She decided to just rest her eyes, only for a few minutes…

"Integra," said a deep voice. "Integra, wake up.'

She didn't open her eyes.

"Go away Percy, you prat," she said half-awake. "I don't like you, and the last time you tried to kiss me your breath smelled like a kipper snack."

"Open your eyes," said the voice, more amused.

She obliged. Through her cracked lids she saw red eyes and a ridiculous hat.

"Alucard," she said in a deadpan tone, "what a pleasant surprise." How odd that she didn't recognize the sound of him rousing her.

"Ah, but the pleasure is all mine," he told her. She tried to right herself in the chair. Her neck was very stiff from where she had lay at an odd angle. "Did you sleep well?"

She grunted, her whole body ached like she'd been hit by a bus. Stupid chair. She stood up, and as soon as she did she knew it was a mistake. She felt the blood leave her head, and she swayed on the spot, knowing she was about to fall.

However, it was a white gloved hand that took her arm and helped her to lean against the desk. She brought her hand to head, just to make sure it was still attached.

"Thank you," she mumbled, barely understandable. "I think I stood up too quickly."

"I think you're ill," he challenged.

"Don't be ridiculous," she said, gesturing his comment aside. "I don't get ill."

He looked at her, watching her relying on the desk to even stand.

"What?" she snapped.

"You look terrible," he told her. "Have you been eating?"

She ignored him, inching her way around her desk to her phone.

"You have a fever, Master," he told her. "You've been sleeping in that chair since this afternoon."

Integra glanced at the window; sure enough it was dark outside.

"I'm fine," she resolved. "Just worn a bit thin is all."

She finally got to the phone, and was going to pick it up and call down to the kitchen for tea, when out of the corner of her eye she felt something pull her feet out from under her.

"What are you doing?" she asked, not bothering to find the energy to be angry.

"Taking you to bed to rest," he told her, scooping her up against him and making his way to her rooms.

She tried to push him away. "No Alucard," she protested. "Don't take me there, Percy's in there."

"Master," he said ignoring her request, "he is just a man, nothing more. You are more than capable of handling him. Besides, if he tries to take advantage of you in this state I'll personally introduce him to my Jackal."

Integra gave a weak smile. "Stay with me?" she asked. He stopped walking and looked down at her.

"For a while," he agreed.

He brought her into her room and set her down on her bed fully clothed. Percy didn't seem to be back yet. Alucard went into the bathroom to get something, giving her the privacy she required to get undressed. When he came back she was struggling to get under the covers, he assisted her in-between the sheets.

"Thank you," she murmured as he wiped her face with a damp cloth.

"I'll make sure that Seras calls the doctor in the morning," he told her, leaving the cloth on her forehead. He walked over to a linen closet and took out some blankets, brining him back to the bed with him. "Meanwhile we're going to try and break the fever tonight."

"Not more blankets," she protested. "I'm already so hot I think I might explode."

He just tucked another one around her, forming around her a tight cocoon.

"I bet hell feels a bit like this," she murmured, her eyes closed.

"Hmm," acknowledged Alucard, who was still mothering her.

"Will you bring me some tea?" she asked.

He snorted. "In this state?" he asked. "You'll only scald yourself, and I refuse to spoon feed you."

She smiled.

Alucard walked up to where her head lay and plucked her glassed off her face and set them on the table next to her.

"Would you like a glass of water instead?" he asked her.

Integra thought that sounded even better, after all, tea was hot.

"If you would," she said politely.

He disappeared back into the bathroom and came back out with the glass.

"Here,' he said, helping her into a sitting position. "Drink."

He pressed the cool glass against her lips and she guzzled it as fast she could, the cool water felt soothing against all the heat.

"Better?" he asked.

"Much," she consented.

"Percy's on his way up the stairs," he told her certainly.

"Please don't leave," she requested with a hint of desperation in her voice.

"I wasn't going to," he said, disappearing into the shadows. She found herself wondering how often he was watching and she didn't even know it.


	13. God Bless Us, Everyone

"Are you feeling any better yet, love?" Percy asked Integra who was propped up against her pillows, doing paperwork.

"The doctor says I'm well on my way to recovery," she told him distractedly. "He says I should stay in bed the next few days and build up my strength. He mentioned something about pushing my limits."

Percy went over to the bed and sat next to her. "It's no wonder you got so ill," he told her, scooting over to her. "You were hardly eating, let alone sleeping."

"The organizations demands of me are great," Integra said, trying to evade a conversation she did not want to have.

"I was thinking dear," Percy said, putting an arm around her. "We never did get to have a proper honeymoon, wouldn't it be nice to get a way for a bit, have some fresh air in our lungs?"

Integra, looked up at him from her papers. "Yes, that would be most pleasant," she said. "However, I'm not sure I can be spared at the moment."

Percy sighed. "I've missed you lately," he said, nuzzling up to her.

"I've missed you too," she said, signing her name with a flourish.

"Do you think that assistant of yours is doing a good enough job of keeping on top of things?"

"I'm sure Seras is doing a wonderful job, Percy," she told him. "There isn't any reason to fret; she's a very smart girl."

Percy gently took the pen out of her hands. "Then why isn't she doing this as well?" he asked. Mentally, Integra gave him a point.

"Some things require my looking over," she told him, leaning over to take it back, but he held it over his head. She made a mad reach for it, but he stopped her, with his lips.

"Mumph," she protested. He responded by putting an arm around her and pulling her closer. She tried to pull away, but he mistook it her actions as a ploy to get him on top of her.

Integra could see that this was going somewhere she didn't necessarily like, unfortunately she also knew that she had put him off for so long that this was, even if put off, an action that was inevitable. She let him, once again, remove her blouse and he, once again, groped at her chest.

She needed an heir and she knew it. This was how powerful leaders of organizations got heirs, there was no magical way she could grow one in a caldron. She had to submit, and the sooner she got pregnant the sooner she would be free of this vile act forever.

She let his hands roam over her body, feeling numb. He rubbed at her left nipple and she let out a little cry of surprise. Percy, she assumed taking this as a sign of encouragement, began to move his hands lower, caressing her waist line, and pawing near her belly button.

It all felt so technical and calculated. It was like he had known exactly what he wanted to touch and how he wanted to touch it long before she was even considering letting him. That's why she wasn't surprised when he slipped his hand down the front of her bottoms, but it didn't make it any less shocking.

His hands were warm and soft, and he didn't eagerly grope at her like he did her top half. Instead he rested his palm against her inner thigh, moving his fingers against her skin. The whole time he managed to keep his lips on her face, at least reasonably near her mouth, and she found herself grateful that he at least didn't taste like any sort of offending food this time.

When he made a move to push her bottoms down all together she didn't stop him, she didn't help him either. She just felt so tired and this seemed so inevitable. It was a losing battle she was fighting, where he was determined to win. He didn't have a hard time getting them off without her help; she wasn't exactly a great bulge to have to maneuver around.

Soon she was naked as the day she was born. She felt less exposed despite the fact, because between Percy and her was a great number of blankets. Percy was, however, still fully clothed. She went to, admittedly, half-heartedly unbutton his shirt, but he took her hands and stopped them mid task on the first button.

"No need, Integra," he muttered to her, in what Integra thought he must think was a seductive voice. "It's my turn to return your favor, don't concern yourself with me."

Truth be told, Integra didn't really give a rat's ass about his pleasure, she had just been doing what she thought was expected of her. What did he mean by 'return her favor?' Unless he planned to somehow-

Oh. It dawned on Integra a moment too late for her to do anything about it. The hand that had been sitting mostly innocently on her thigh began to move upward, and when it brushed against her she jumped.

"It's alright, love," he said in an attempt to be soothing. "You'll enjoy this, I promise you."

Integra didn't believe him.

"Lie back, darling," he told her, moving the blanket she had strategically placed in-between them and moving her body to oblige his request. She soon found herself pressed against him, laying on her side. She pushed her face against his neck so he couldn't see her face screwed up in concentration. He smelled of cologne and sweat. He pulled her to where he wanted her, pushing her onto her back.

"I want to see you," he told her. She didn't move.

He pulled the lone blanket that had been protecting her from his eyes, and then she was bare before him.

"Beautiful," he whispered, kissing her on the lips.

She whimpered. He moved his hand between them, placing it where it had been before he had pulled her up. He slowly rubbed against the inside of her leg. She grasped the blankets in a expectation of what she knew was to come.

"Are you alright?" he asked her.

Integra nodded.

It was then that he finally touched her. It was odd, she couldn't say it was really that pleasant, but it didn't exactly feel bad either. She was glad that he hadn't…pushed inside her. He seemed content, at least for the moment, to simply let his finger trace her.

"Does this feel good?"

No, she said on the inside, stop you horny idiot. "Yes," she said. "Please," she said, not sure how she was to tell him she wanted to get a move on with the whole affair.

He went about his business, and Integra couldn't help thinking that he made her feel a bit ticklish. It went of for quite awhile, and Integra began to feel bored despite her desire to be anywhere else in the world.

"Would you….like more?" He asked hesitantly. She wanted to roll her eyes. Of course she wanted more, that's why she was there at all, she was trying to get pregnant, dolt. Instead she just nodded her head so that he could see her consent.

Then, that insufferable coot had the audacity to slip a finger _inside_ of her.

"Excuse me," she exclaimed, at the first touch. "But what the hell are you playing at?"

Percy looked stricken. "I thought you were enjoying it."

She made a noise through her nose. "Aren't you planning to…take me?" she asked, sitting up, looking around to see if there might be a directional for him to use.

He gave her a look. "Don't think me so callous Integra. You don't give a child a car as soon as he learns to ride a bike."

"It's alright," she said, pulling at his shirt. "I have my license."

He laughed. "You are such a funny creature," he told her. "One day you refuse to speak to me, and the next you're trying to impale yourself on me."

The word 'impale' gave Integra a very nasty mental image, and she had to fight it down to continue.

"I'm not trying to _impale_ myself," she said harshly. "I was simply getting tired of the night's activities and was ready to progress."

Percy looked hurt. "Why didn't you just say so?" he asked.

"I was trying to be polite," she told him stiffly.

"You don't have to be polite when we're making love."

His word choice made her cringe.

"Will you please…?" she asked, letting his imagination fill in the blanks.

"Alright," he said. "Er, lie back." She did as she was told, she hated feeling like a dumb pupil.

He pulled his own shirt over his head and his pants soon followed.

"Okay," he said, suddenly seeming more nervous. "This might hurt a bit at first, but it'll get better."

"Alright," she said, bracing herself.

She could feel him adjusting things down there, and suddenly she got the impression that he was afraid he'd disappoint her.

"You're doing a good job," she told him by way of encouraging, almost as she would have a puppy. It wouldn't do to have gotten this far, only to have him go soft on her last minute.

He shot her an appreciative look and she could feel his…thing, pressed against where his hand had slipped into earlier.

"I'm going to push in now Integra, so don't be alarmed if-"

But what she was not supposed to not be alarmed of never came out of his mouth, because before he could finish his sentence someone had burst through the door.

"Sir Hellsing!" said a man's voice, Integra recognized him as Captain from the first floor. When he saw how Integra and Percy were positioned in the bed he had the grace to flush, but continued on with his mission. "There is a level three attack in a small town called Napshire, just north of Bones. We need approval to deploy Divisions R and F to handle the ghouls and search for survivors."

Integra was immediately on her feet wrapped in a sheet and padding to the closet to get some decent clothes. "Permission to deploy Divisions R and F granted. I'll rouse Alucard to hunt down whomever is responsible for this travesty."

"Deploy Division Q as well, Integra," said Percy from the bed. "My boys have worked hard, they deserve to see some action too."

Integra wanted to slap him. Action? Did he think scraping up dead bodies and shooting walking corpses was _action_? Well then, let him have his action, he'd see first hand what exactly the woman he married stood up against to defend to world from. Maybe then he would think of her more as a person and less of a warm hole.

"So be it," she said. She saw the Captain begin to protest. She raised her hand to him. "We'll send in an extra division instead of Alucard. You will be expected to deal with the vampire as well, let's hope it's still there and not on the run."

The Captain saluted and left the room.

"I must be off love," he told her, giving her forehead a peck. "Duty calls!"

Integra watched him leave, both grateful he was gone and frustrated all her tolerance had been for nothing.

"Be careful," she called after him, she still needed that heir.

Integra sat in a chair facing her window in her office. It had been a long night, a very long night indeed. She faced the morning sun, and it seemed to be a cruel reminder that time was going to continue to go on, even though she demanded it stop.

She wasn't looking foreword to having to make the funeral arrangements.

What was the Queen going to say? What was Sir Islands going to think about what had happened?

She looked out into the harsh tones of daylight. How was she to produce an heir now? Was she going to have to remarry?

Questions filled her mind. Not even thirty yet, and she was already a widow.

The other Division heads told her how he had been attacked when he had insisted that his Division make a blind infiltration, but she had been watching. The whole team had been wiped out.

The memory was still scorched in her mind.

"_You fool, what are you doing??" she screamed at him. "Use some common sense, don't be daft!"_

_But no one on the other end could hear her, communication had been lost ages ago. She watched as Division Q, led by a man who had the balls bigger than brains, run into a slaughter house._

_She watched as her husband and his men were met with a pack of angry vampires, and although they were soon being ripped limb from limb, her eyes never left Percy's. His death wasn't as horrible as it could have been. Still, she felt numb as she watched his neck ripped open by a creature looking only for another kill. His blood went everywhere and Integra found herself thinking it was a pity, such a waste of a man. _

_His eyes, once filled with a bit of sparkle, were now glossed over with pain. He wasn't dead. Integra recognized death, he was still clinging on. His eyes were scrunched in pain, his muscles tense. He was fading fast….but maybe if they could just get there quick enough…_

_Integra felt a small well of hope rise within her. Maybe she could salvage this scrap of a man and keep him for his purpose after all._

"_Initiate direct heavy weapons support!" yelled a voice, immediately Integra's well dried up, leaving only a coarse acceptance._

_And with that order the other divisions, she was sure not knowingly, let off a volley of what Integra could only describe as a mini inferno. The blast, she was sure, had not left anything alive. It had blown everything to smithereens, including the heads and hearts of the undead creatures._

_It had also killed Percy. _

_The other men went in, putting out the fire with holy water. _

_Integra watched as the scene before her flickered and died._

She wondered if he thought he'd thought he had seen enough action.

Integra felt incredibly guilty. Not because she'd sent him in when she knew he wasn't ready, not because she had refused to let him bed her, not even because she had drug him into a loveless marriage and a life of darkness. Integra felt the guiltiest because she didn't really feel bad that he was gone at all. It was like some heavy weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She was relieved to not have to be with him the rest of her life. Her only complaint was that she was obviously not pregnant.

She sighed, what was to become of her now that she was once again alone on the brink?


	14. Fever and Toil

"I'm sorry for your loss," said another countless face. "Lt. Islands is resting in a better place now."

She'd heard that over and over again. This was supposed to be the funeral for the whole Division, but even in death Percy made everything about him. The Convention had attended, of course. Sir Islands had been remarkably not hostile, she appreciated his distance.

She watched as the people who had come to say goodbye to his corpse disappeared.

Integra followed suit, leaving the mourners for the safety of her office.

She found herself back in her sanctuary without even remembering how she got there. It felt like she was floating everywhere, not really doing it for herself.

"Is there really a God, Alucard?" she asked to a man who she knew was with her, even if she couldn't see him.

"Yes," he replied materializing. "I am the God Alucard."

Integra smiled at his feeble joke. "I've never questioned my faith before," she said in a dead voice. "There is a God, just like there is a Queen and country."

Alucard watched her talk, not really knowing if he was speaking to him.

"Even when my father died, I knew that he would go to heaven," she said. "I was so sure everything was black and white then, now I know better."

Alucard took off his hat.

"Who is God to decide whether or not our actions are right or wrong?" she asked. "I think that if there is a God I can not forgive him for creating man, even if we were in his image…what is God without his alpha and omega? A man? How pathetic, we're little better than worms."

"It isn't wise to start a personal war with God," Alucard interrupted. "The power of man is his weakness. A human can choose to be anything it wants. Because it is so helpless it has the most to loose, and in retrospect, the most to give."

"That doesn't make any sense," she said over her shoulder.

"What does?" he replied.

"I'm still a virgin."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"I'm not pregnant."

"Did you really want a small creature to claw it's way out of your womb?"

"The Queen will want me to remarry.'

"Refuse."

"There will be no one left to control you after I'm gone."

"When you die I will no longer remain on this world, I have found that living without you by my side is not preferable over nothingness."

"Nothingness?"

"There is a heaven for you, Integra. I'm the devil's tool used by God's right hand. There is no place for me outside of this world."

"If God will not repay his most worthy tool he is no God of mine."

"If you feel that the Lord is picking on you, don't fret. It only means he's met a worthy opponent."

Integra closed her eyes. She was not tired. She was not hungry for a man she couldn't have. She was not lying to herself.

"I will never be a nightwalker, Alucard."

"You would not be so dear to me if you did walk the night."

"Is this love?" she asked. "If it is it's terribly disappointing."

Alucard smiled. "My apologies, Master."

"I hate men," she told him.

"Me too," he agreed.

"We would never work."

"No, we wouldn't.'

"I can't stand being without you."

"The past month in a half has been a personal hell."

"You can't give me an heir."

"Not exactly."

Integra spun around. "'Not exactly?'" she asked. "You have no living seed, what do you mean, 'not exactly?'"

Alucard gave her a long look. "Sperm is a biological map. If you were pregnant I would take you, my own essence would infiltrate the living sperm and change the blueprint to match my own, leaving only the living essence of the original behind. The child would be a human, but it would retain suspicious traits. Things like good night vision, a taste for rare meats, a long life. The typical symptoms."

"How on earth do you know this?" she asked.

"I had a son once, I killed him."

Integra starred at him. "A right good father you'd make."

Alucard shrugged. "I found out about him after he was already grown. His mother had already ruined him."

"Who was the mother?"

"A power hungry noblewoman whom I seduced on a whim, I never bothered to learn her name."

Integra felt grateful, he at least knew _her_ name.

"I'm not pregnant," she told him again.

"You could be."

She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Artificial insemination, I've looked into it."

Integra momentarily wondered at her pet monsters ability to plot.

"It would never work," she said.

"That seems to be your take on a lot of things."

"The child would look like you, I'd have to find a donor. Not everyone would be fooled."

Alucard shrugged. "Suddenly we throw up a few portraits of your mother's father, who will look remarkably like me and all suspicions are quelled. Besides, we already have a donor."

"We do?" Integra asked, almost afraid to know.

"Percy," Alucard answered simply.

"That bastard?" she asked. "How do you expect a dead man to impregnate me?"

"He went through a routine physical with the rest of his division, which includes a semen sample, their kept frozen in the lab for recording purposed. His is still relatively fresh."

Integra's eyes went wide. "Alucard, you are an evil genius!"

"Funny you should say that," he said amused. "Just because it's so true."

Suddenly the day didn't seem so drab.

"This is perfect Alucard!" she exclaimed. "The only people who know I'm not pregnant is you, Seras and I. Everyone will just assume Percy got to me before he was killed!"

"The Police Girl isn't about to tell anyone, nor am I."

"Nor I."

"What are you doing?"

"Calling Dr. Westly, I think he's trust worthy, we need to act fast to get this to work."

"Who cares if they're trust worthy?" asked Alucard. "I'm going to wipe his mind when we're done anyway."

In the next few hours Integra set up everything necessary to pull off the greatest ruse she'd participated this century. Alucard stayed with her, occasionally spitting out instructions.

"It's done," said Integra, finally. "My appointment is tomorrow morning, everything's been arranged."

"No," said Alucard. "Not everything."

"No?" asked Integra.

"How can you be sure that I won't corrupt our child, Master?" he asked. "Why do you trust me? I assure you I am not trust worthy."

Integra looked at him hard. "You would not corrupt my child, even if you were not the father," she said after a long while. "You would aid it as you have aided me. That's why you will not corrupt our child, it would be that much more dear to you, because it is the only worthwhile mark we can leave on this world together."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"You love for me will blind you to the desire to corrupt anything we create together."

"Do I love you?" he asked her.

"Yes," she said. "Why else would you have given me away?"

Alucard grinned, she finally understood. Now, if he could only get the Police Girl to drink her blood.

"Is my sentiment returned?" he asked her.

"Is it?" she asked.

He didn't answer. Integra watched him squirm with emotion he went so far out of his way to avoid.

"Yes," he finally let out. "Because you insisted that I stay, even after I broke you down. Your pride gives you away, Sir Hellsing."

She smiled. "What a lovely cross roads we've come to."

"Indeed."

"I should go to bed, I have a very busy day tomorrow," Integra said, getting up from her desk.

"Your day will be long," Alucard agreed. "However, your night will be longer."

"Servant, you'd keep me waiting until night?"

"If only to increase your anticipation."

"So be it," she said. "I'll just have to make sure to take a nap."

"Will you come with me first?"

"Before my nap?"

"No, you dolt, before you go to your rooms."

"If you wish."

He took her hand and took her with him into the darkness.


	15. No Weeping

"Is this your deluded version of romance?"

"No."

"What are you playing at?"

"She liked you last time. She's never had a visitor before."

"The fact that you've given your coffin a personality is incredibly disturbing in itself."

"Will you not oblige me?"

Integra sighed. "How long?"

"Forever?" he asked.

"How about until tomorrow morn?"

"For now that will have to suffice."

Integra slipped off her shoes and jacket. After a moments hesitation she took off her pants and brazier too, leaving her in a long dress shirt and her underwear. She was sure she didn't posses anything Alucard hadn't seen, or even touched, before. Besides, if she was to sleep in that…thing, she was damn well going to be comfortable.

"How do I get in?" she asked. It was very high off the ground and she couldn't see a ladder.

"I put you in it."

Integra gave him a look.

"It's not my fault humans are so immobile."

"It is, however, your fault you can't acquire a foot stool."

"I've never before asked another to share my final domain."

Integra had the decency to feel a bit flattered.

"Well then, let me up."

She was instantly enveloped into a cloud of shadows.

"Alucard," she exclaimed. "I do not appreciate being manhandled."

But by then she was in the coffin, alone.

"Where are you?" she asked the air. That's when she spotted a back tendril creeping over the side of the box. She reached out and touched it. It seeped into her hand, wrapping itself around her fingers. She played with it, it seemed a bit ticklish.

"Are you being coy?" she asked. "If you are, I don't believe you."

Then, where there had been one tendril there were suddenly hundred creeping into the coffin.

Integra was surrounded.

"Do you like her?" Alucard asked. He was suddenly next to her. The coffin seemed to have…expanded?

"This is quite roomy," she told him. "It's bigger that I imagined though."

"Shh," Alucard told her. "She's deciding whether or not she likes you."

It was then that Integra noticed that there were still a great deal of little black floaty things around her.

"Alucard, you can't mean that…your coffin is deciding whether or not I'm _worthy_?"

Alucard gave her a look that shut her up. The little black things rubbed against her, a few of them even appeared to be looking at her. One tried to tickle her. She sat very still as if the things might attack her.

Then, as suddenly as they appeared, they were gone.

"She likes you!" said Alucard enthusiastically. Integra decided she would take him more seriously the next time he gave an inanimate object a personality, even if it was disturbing. "The last person she even tolerated was Walter, and she barely let him sit on her."

"That bastard," said Integra.

"Hmm," agreed Alucard, lying back. Integra leaned over and gave him a quick peck on the lips. His eyes shot open, a smile on his face.

"Now now," he said, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her towards his chest. "That's quite enough of that. We don't want to embarrass her."

"She's embarrassed?"

"How would you feel if you woke up and saw a couple kissing in your bed next to you?"

"Ah," said Integra. "What happens if you fancy a wank?"

"I regret ever teaching you that word."

"Answer the question please."

"I can control myself!"

"Or?"

"Or… I do it in the chair."

"Does the chair like me?"

"The chair is just a chair."

"I bet it _really_ likes you."

"Shut up."

"It's probably very upset that you like the coffin so much better."

"Go to sleep."

"What does it think of Seras?"

"They've never met, but she thinks Seras is rather loud."

"Does the coffin think that too?"

Alucard sighed, and with that he plucked her nose with his fingers, giving her the reassurance that her kiss had not been in vein.

She knew she would sleep soundly after that.

"That was most unpleasant," Integra said, she was sore in places she didn't know existed. "Nothing that cold and hard was ever supposed to go up _there_."

Alucard gave her a pointed look.

"Oh, right," she said. "I forgot you corpses don't have body heat."

He didn't look amused. "I can simulate body heat."

"Did it take?" she asked, referring to the procedure.

"How would I know?"

Integra glared at him. "Aren't you vampires supposed to be able sense these sorts of things?"

Alucard shrugged. "Not really," he answered. "But a woman produces about twice as much blood as they need when they're pregnant, makes for good pickins. Besides, any vampire worth his salt can hear two heart beats coming from one vessel."

"Is suppose it would be too soon to tell yet," she said, slightly disappointed. She had wanted to know.

"Why wouldn't it work?" asked Alucard. "You're fertile, everything went well. For now let's dwell on other things."

Integra snorted. "Seeing you so optimistic is rare in itself," she said dryly, "unless there's some sort of killing involved, of course."

Alucard sneered. "You make me sound so one dimensional."

Integra got up from her desk. Her body ached.

"Didn't the doctor tell you to rest?"

Integra grunted in acknowledgment.

"Why in blazes are you up running about then?"

"I had to finish my paperwork," she said. "I just had a bit to do. Seras can handle the rest."

Alucard smiled. "She is catching on now, isn't she?"

"How do you mean?" asked Integra as she went rummaging through her drawer.

"She's been drinking her blood daily," Alucard told her. "She doesn't harbor those ridiculous notions of humanity anymore, she's even starting to make her self use- What the hell do you think you're doing?"  
Integra had a cigar half way to her lips, but stopped at Alucard's question.

"I'm about to fill my lungs with tar," she said as if it were rehearsed. "Shortening my already short morality, endangering my organization and exposing the rest of the world to my disgusting habit."

Integra had had this conversation with the Queen, Walter, and even with Percy at one point.

Alucard gave her a deathly look.

"It's one thing to do those things to yourself, but it is another issue all together when you expose your child to the same effects."

Integra dropped the cigar as if it had burnt her. Of course, she might be pregnant. How could she be so stupid?

"My apologies," she murmured, picking up the cigar and throwing it into the rubbish bin. "I suppose this means no brandy either?"

"It means," Alucard said clearly, so she would not miss his meaning. "That you will have to eat and sleep properly, maintain minimal stress levels and not run around like a banshee on crack."

"This might be very difficult indeed," Integra said demurely. "Perhaps I rushed into this?" It was a question, but it was directed at herself.

Alucard answered it anyway. "Did you really want the alternative?"

"No."

"Well then," he said suddenly sour. "This was your only choice."

Integra rolled her eyes, reading him.

"Don't be so melodramatic," she told him gently, but in a firm tone. "I chose you, Alucard. I could have done all this without letting you be any part of it. Don't act like a child put out simply because I said I would have refused the alternative."

"You haven't let me be a part of anything yet," he reminded her. "Besides, for having such a strong desire to 'let me in on it,' you certainly ran off and got yourself a man in quite the hurry the first time."

For Integra, those were fighting words.

"I 'ran off,' as you put it, on the Queen's orders! And believe me there was NO one who regrets abiding by my own ethical codes than myself Alucard. I did not _love_ my husband or even _enjoy_ his company," Integra was yelling loud enough so that even anyone in the hall could hear her. "I hated every moment I spent with him, I loathed it when he touched me, and I despise the fact that I had to bind his life to my own, no matter how brief the period."

Alucard didn't say anything; he just looked at her as a man does when he knows the woman he cares for won't see reason, no matter how clearly put his answer or how much truth it held.

"What," said Integra, angry he hadn't rose to her bait. "Aren't you going to give me some smart answer, Alucard? Tell me some age old bit of half assed wisdom you've concocted? DON'T YOU HAVE A BLOODY ANSWER FOR EVERYTHING, YOU GREAT GIT?"

And with that she stormed around on her heel, not waiting to see his reaction. She fled the room, half angry, half ashamed.


	16. Crunchy and Delicious

Integra sat in her room later, knowing that she had been in the wrong. She was hurting, still. She felt used and worthless and uneven. However, it was selfish to think that she'd been the only one hurt in this mess. Alucard had had too watch her suffer through trials with another man, not even putting up a futile resistance in the beginning. She'd admit that if anyone had a right to be indignant it was him. After all, hadn't it been her who had submitted to doing various acts of 'snogging' with another man, solely out of the purpose to sedate a childish sort of curiosity? She sat on her bed, her head in her pillow and her body stretched out, the sheets smelled like cigar smoke and gunpowder. She was glad there was no trace of Percy on them, otherwise she might have been inclined to buy a new bed set.

Internally she was struggling with herself, it had been a long time since she'd suffered through a mental battle with herself. Usually it was over some act of morals or some undying unanswered question. This time it was different though, it was personal.

She no longer cared if she was a good person. She didn't care if she was socially acceptable or well known. She didn't care if people thought she was crazy or made of 'iron.' She knew that the opinions of others mattered very little. However, it was the opinions of the people around her, people like Walter had been, or Seras was becoming. People like Alucard who had helped define her as a person

Alucard who had acted as a guardian, then a teacher, then a council, then a friend….now? What was he? Were they still to be Master and Servant? Yes, of course, that bond was eternal. But now they were something more, he was to be the father of her child. Was she making a mistake? Perhaps, she always feared she was slipping up in some unforgivable manner, but she liked her odds this time, and it she was honest with herself, she more than liked Alucard.

Who was she? What place did she hold in his unlife compared to the pedestal she'd put him on? Was she another nameless face on a sea of memory? Or was she someone that would define him as much as he'd done her?

Integra got out of her bed, getting ready to change into her night time attire. Was everyone's life this complicated, or was this a simple problem where she simply couldn't see the solution?

As she was changing Integra caught a glimpse of herself back in the mirror. She was like she was before this mess, in appearance at any rate. Her eyes were blood shot with fatigue; she could see wrinkles forming on her youthful face. Her men's suit didn't really do anything for her figure, unless you count leaving things to the imagination. Her air was long, unmanageable and tangled. In short, she looked like hell.

But that didn't make sense did it? People had thought her attractive enough when she was all dolled up like some sort of water world harlot. What was so different about her now? Was hard work ethic and sheer determination really so ugly?  
She allowed herself to slowly walk over to the mirror; genuinely curiosity looked back at her thorough it. She started removing clothing, she told herself she was changing. However, there was a purpose in her actions. A questions that had been rapping at the back of her mind so long that she'd learned to simply ignore it all together.

All at once she found herself naked in front of her floor length mirror. Her hands were at her sides and her posture was impeccable.

She cocked her head, was this it?

A sudden chill caught her attention.

"Spying again, Alucard?" she asked, making no move to cover herself. There was a slight wind.

Integra didn't look away from the mirror.

"I'm a fool, Alucard," she declared suddenly. The slight wind blew again, this time stronger. Integra watched her hair flow away from her body.

It was no surprise when she saw him materialize behind her. "We're all of us pawns and fools," he told her certainly.

"That's the wrong quote," she told him surely. "We're all of us kings and pawns, said by Napoleon Bonaparte."

"I don't need to quote Napoleon," he told her, just as sure. "I'm older and more experienced than he was, those words are my own."

They stood there a moment in what should have been awkward silence; instead it seemed to be a reassuring calm. Integra stood there, working up her daring, and Alucard allowed her a moment of contemplation.

"Am I pretty?" she asked at last, hating how weak and childish it sounded. She felt so vulnerable, standing there.

"To me," Alucard said slowly, "your earthly vessel is no great matter of importance; it's your will that has attracted me to you. You, the iron maiden, have the heart of a huntress and the mind of a general. That is what's important."

He brought his mouth to her ear, "but let me assure you, I find you to be more attractive than any woman I've seen in _centuries_, my dear, and that's saying something."

Integra smiled at the floor.

"You would say that," she said. "You have _everything_ to gain."

"_Everything_?" he asked her, his eyes glinting with mischief. "You certainly think very highly of yourself."

Integra shrugged. "Don't you?" she asked, feeling glum.

He laughed.

"….so," he said slowly. "Am I supposed to seduce you?"

"What?" asked Integra, swinging around to face him.

"What?" he asked innocently, and it was a very poor attempt. "You were angry earlier, I didn't know where we stood."

Integra looked at him blankly. "You know I just had a temper fit, I didn't mean it."

"Oh yes you did," he assured her. "It's alright though, it needed saying didn't it?"

Integra's head hurt.

"It just so happens that we're even," Alucard stated, looking away from her. "For, as I recall, I lost my temper long before you did."

Integra, still looking at the floor, allowed her brow to furrow. "What?" she asked, her head not cooperating.

"Don't you recall the night you returned from Percy's room? Your first night back?"

Integra paused a moment. She suddenly seemed to realize she was in a rather embarrassing state of undress. She walked over to her robe.

"Oh," she said, she began to slip the fabric over her shoulders.

"Don't," he said, making her halt her robe, as she was beginning to pull it around her. "You still haven't answered my question."

"I'm running around my rooms naked," she said dryly. "Allowing you to grace me with your presence and you still have to ask?"

Alucard laughed.

"Is that a 'yes'?" he asked. Integra's eyes got wide and she turned from him again.

"That's hardly necessary," she said in a cool voice. "Seduction is a pleasantry we don't have to deal with. We are both fully aware where things will be leading this night."

Alucard gave her a long look.

"So…what?" he asked. "You want me to crawl up on top of you, bang you a bit, and then be on my way?"

Integra let her eyes slide to a place over her shoulder. Alucard watched her, waiting for her to reply.

She didn't.

"What?" he asked. "I know you're not quite the blushing virgin you once were."

"Yes, I am," she muttered. "I managed to hold him off for quite a bit. He almost…but that was the only one time."

Although Integra had told Alucard previously that she had not appreciated Percy's company, she had a feeling he had not really believed her.

"I know you didn't fuck him, but you…" he stopped. "What did you do?" he asked bluntly.

Integra looked at Alucard as if he was hopeless. She had assumed that he knew what she'd been up to, lurking about where she couldn't see him, as usual.

"Don't you know?" she asked without thinking.

"No, I do," he said sarcastically. "I just thought I'd go to all the trouble of rehashing everything, you know, just to refresh my memory."

Integra, finished up doing her bathrobe and walked briskly away from him. "Nothing permanent, a bit of snogging, a bit of petting, a bit of foreplay. Nothing I couldn't have done without."

Integra might have sworn he she heard him growl.

"I take it you didn't care for his ministrations," Alucard said, his voice full of gravel.

Integra wisely said nothing.

"It's not your fault," he reassured her. "That pig probably didn't really know how to treat a woman, probably rolled around all over you, squealing and foraging around."

"I didn't think it was my fault," she defended, ignoring the rest of the statement.

"Ignorant fop," continued Alucard, not listening. "He's ruined you. That little rat fart, if he weren't already dead, I'd kill him-"

"He seemed to be…experienced." Integra said, feeling awkward.

Alucard rounded on her, his eyes were fiery, but she wasn't looking at them.

"Just because a man has had experience shoving his _prick_ in a _warm hole_, does not mean his _experienced_, Master," he practically hissed. "It means he's sufficient at the mechanics, nothing more."

"Oh," said Integra. She could have argued, and a part of her wanted to, just for the sake of pretense, but she knew she was sitting in the long side of the stick.

She watched as Alucard flopped down in a sitting chair and rested his head in his hand, looking put out. She supposed his actions were a good indication of what the evening was going to unfold to.

"Er," she said. "I'll just go put my pajamas on then." Alucard looked up from his pout.

"What for?" he asked. "If I'm just going to be taking them off again, seems pointless, doesn't it?"

Integra gave him a blank look.

"Well?" he said, gesturing away from himself. "Go lay down on the bed so I can bang you properly."

"You have got to be joking," she said, not quite believing her ears.

"What?" he asked, clearly mocking. "The idea doesn't appeal to you?"

She let her gaze travel up and down his body.

"Not remotely," she said, feeling small.

"How do you want to go about this then?" he asked, looking like a teacher asking a student a physics problem. "Because the best idea that I can come up with involves the microwave and a turkey baister."

Integra let out a small laugh against her will.

"So?" he asked.

"Er, come take me big boy?" she tried. Alucard looked at her disgusted.

"I can't believe you just said that," he said, his voice dripping with disbelief. "He didn't make you say-"

"Of course not!" she exclaimed, cutting him off. "I was making an attempt to appease you, and pull you out of this dreary funk you seem to want to wallow in so badly."

"That was a very bad attempt at humor," he told her plainly. "Clearly I am not amused."

Integra sighed and walked away.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"To the bed to lay down," she told him, stopping to look over her shoulder. "So you can crawl on top of me for the purposes of giving me a hearty banging."

Alucard stood up and followed her. "That's not funny either," he said.

"Well," she said, pulling at the tie of her robe, which seemed to be stuck. "It was this or risk having you talk all night."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, trying to cover the fact he was watching her intently.

"It's alright," she said, getting frustrated with the knot. "I'm nervous too."

Alucard made a noise in the back of his throat, but he still moved to help her with the knot.

"That obvious, huh?" he asked.

"Indeed," she replied.

But by then Alucard had gotten the knot out, and Integra was watching him watch her.

"What?" she asked at his scrutiny. "I know I'm not as young as I once was."

"I'd hardly call twenty-six old, Master," he said dryly. When he leaned down to kiss her Integra had seen it coming, she raised herself a bit to meet him there.

She's kissed him before now, but this was the first time they'd both done it with certainty in each others presence. Alucard wasn't slow, and she liked that, his pace was a quick one where she had to anticipate his next movement to even keep up.

He wasn't demanding, but he did demand. He wasn't gentle either, and when he wanted something her took it. Integra found it refreshing. His body, of which was usually cool, now let off a soft heat she found that she liked.

Integra found that kissing him brought a sort of stirring to her that kissing Percy never had. Soon she wanted much more than what he was giving, and it was frustrating.

"Alucard," she warned as he tried to pull away. "Don't you dare stop or I'll shoot you."

Alucard pulled back, in what Integra would have described as pure spite.

"Now look what you've done," she said. "Now I'm going to have to punish you."

Alucard snorted, "I'm trying to get us on the bed."

Integra wasn't listening though. She herself had gotten onto the bed and was looking up at him, almost asking what was taking so long.

"What?" he said. "You're just too quick for me."

He climbed on from the side of the bed, crawling like a predator on the hunt. Integra giggled.

"Are you going to eat me?" she asked jokingly. Apparently it was amusing to Alucard, because he let out a bark of laughter.

"Well," said, "now that you've asked so nicely…" and Integra watched as he slid back down off of the bed, toward the foot and stood, looking down at her.

"You should be more careful what you ask, my master," he said with a flourish and he put his hands on her ankles and pulled her down to him.

Integra let out a small squeal.

"What on earth?" she asked through her laughter. "Do you want to on the floor? After all this fuss about the bed?"

Alucard just gave her a devilish grin. "I'm going to do something Percy never would have done," he told her firmly.

"What's that?" she asked, almost dreading the answer.

But Alucard didn't answer, he just leaned of her naked body, kissing her again. It was amazing how it made her want to melt. Alucard put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her up into a sitting position.

"Come here," he said, once again pulling at her legs, this time he brought her so close to the edge, her feet were touching the floor and she was looking up at where he was standing above her. She sat up a little straighter, she didn't like feeling small.

She didn't have to wait long, soon Alucard was sinking down onto his knees, and when he finally settled in, even at floor level he was eye to her breasts, and he used it to his advantage.

Integra leaned down and gave him a desperate kiss, pulling his face up to hers. What was he playing at? She wanted him!

Alucard only chortled a bit. "It's alright," he told her. "I'll make it better."

And with those words, he removed his face from hers and kissed her neck, he put his hands on her back and made his way down to the collar bone, where he stopped to rub his face against her a bit.

"Mmm," Integra purred, thinking of how nice it felt. It was a calm sort of pleasure, it was probably because of that tool her by such surprise when he suddenly pulled away and began attacking her breasts.

Integra let out a terrible throaty moan, and wondered at the amazing sounds mammals could make.

It felt good, him massaging her mounds of flesh with his tongue. The pressure against her skin made her want to cry out. It wasn't until he finally brushed up against one of her nipples that she did though.

"Alucard," she said in what she thought sounded like a gurgle. She heard him rumble.

The peaks of her breaks felt so hard and sensitive, she wanted him to be less…soft with them, for now he was only making them wet, nudging them around a bit. She wanted him to squeeze her, feel the pressure.

She pulled his head closer to her body, trying to give him a hint. He took it and soon she had what she wanted. She could feel herself panting as he have her little nips, he brought one of his hands around from her back and began to squeeze and play with the breast his mouth was neglecting.

Integra could feel herself starting to shake and knew she was making ungodly noises.

Soon the hand that had been on her breast was not there anymore. She whimpered. Alucard looked up at her, pulling away slightly. He removed the gloves on his hands, throwing them aside. She watched as he pulled her into an embrace, his head fitting between her breasts. It felt odd, having her naked body up against his clothed one.

His torso fit well between her legs, and she vaguely wondered if he knew what he was pressing up against.

Alucard soon pulled away, just at an arms length.

"Spread your legs a bit more," he told her. She obliged. She watched as his now naked hand made it's way down her body.

When he finally reached his destination, and he brushed against her, she jumped and tried to snap her legs shut around his hand. He wouldn't have it though, and he pushed her back open for him.

It was strange, the first time he put his palm flat against her. Integra didn't even know she was wet until she felt him slid against her. She whimpered. He let his index finger trace her slit. She opened the eyes she didn't know she had been closing.

Below her she could see him touching her. She could watch his fingers and what they were doing, which, at the moment wasn't much. She could see herself, her platinum curls slightly damp, with a pink center that all seemed unfamiliar.

It was with a morbid fascination she watched as he quickly plunged to fingers inside of her.

"Ahhh!" she cried out, wanting to get closer and pull away at the same time.

He did it again, pushing and pulling his fingers inside of her body, once again he got the same reaction. The third time he pulled them out again, he didn't push back in and Integra found herself a bit disappointed.

Instead Alucard began to move upward, massaging her between her legs. When he hit her cliterous, Integra thought she might explode.

"Oh," she exclaimed. However Alucard seemed to only be testing her, because after he touched it for the briefest of moments, he pulled his hand away altogether.

Integra felt him pull away again, but she couldn't bring herself to open her eyes to see what he'd planed next. Her body was quivering, her chest was heaving, and her heart was pounding at her chest trying to get out.

When something warm and wet slid against her, her eyes once again shot open. She looked down. Alucard was between her legs, and he was doing what she could only describe as, snogging her in a very naughty place.

She let out a whimper as she caught sight if his oink tongue and let herself fall back against the bed.

She felt him, and it was _wonderful_. She was trembling, he was holding down her hips, to stop her from bucking. His tongue was doing deliciously wicked things. He kept circling her, sucking on her folds. She reached down and put her hands on his head, felling it bop up and down as he pleasured her.

She could feel tears come to her eyes as he kept going. There was so much built up inside of her. She wanted to feel more of him. Her body was aching, she felt so…goopy.

The first time his tongue flickered at her entrance she moaned, and when he finally slipped it in her all the way, she thought she might die.

His tongue was oddly long, she could fell him…rolling it inside of her. When he began to lap inside of her, fucking her with his mouth, she knew that she was going to do something bad….

As she cried out with ecstasy at her first orgasm Alucard pulled away.

"Told you," he said wickedly, his voice throaty.

Integra, who was not yet coherent, made a noncommittal noise. Alucard laughed at her.

"What?" he asked. "Not worn out yet I hope."

"That was amazing," she muttered.

He got up and walked around the bed, picking her up in his arms and taking her up to the head of the bed. He sat her down gently on the bed as she basked in her mini afterglow. He slipped off his jacket and shoes and climbed in beside her.

She rolled to him, pressing her face into his chest, a bit embarrassed.

"Oi," he said, stoking her hair. "Why are you hiding?"

Integra could feel heat rise to her face.

"Do people really do that?" she asked, her voice muffled against him.

"Nope," he said. "I thought it up and decided to use it especially on you."

Integra pulled away from him, moving to get under the covers. She was beginning to get a chill, among other things.

"Why are you trying to escape?" he asked as she tried to climb between the sheets gracefully without getting up from the bed. It didn't work very well.

"If those are the kind of ideas you get when I'm about and starkers then I'm afraid I'll just have to show some modesty."

Alucard whistled at her as she got tangled in the sheets and was forced to do an awkward and exposing movement.

"Shut it," she said good-naturedly. "I've had quite enough of you!"  
"Oh, I don't think you'd really object to a bit more of me, would you?" he asked, his underlying meaning was not missed.

Integra, who was suddenly feeling very raw after their last bit of intimacy, decided not to rise to his little joke.

"Settled then?" he asked, as she made the final adjustments to her position. She gave him a glance, nodded, then looked straight foreword. "Oh, come on Integra," he said. "I know you enjoyed it."

"Well, obviously," she mumbled.

"Why then all this sudden prudishness?"

"I'm not being a prude!" she exclaimed at him, picking at the sheets. "I've just never…felt anything like that before."

Alucard gave her a look with big eyes. Then whooped.

Integra grinned. "Don't be so full of yourself." However, Alucard was climbing enthusiastically under the sheets.

"Excuse me!" she interrupted his action. "You are not getting into my bed with those dirty clothes."

Alucard gave her another wicked grin. "Help me take them off then?" he asked, barely containing himself.

"Why?" Integra asked.

Alucard gave her a blank look. "So we can con continue…?"

"We can't," Integra told him seriously.

"Why not?" he asked, looking like someone had canceled Christmas.

"Because I've already exercised myself for the evening," she told him.

He looked at her again. Then he looked away, then back again.

"I don't understand," he finally said at last.

"I've already….you know….spent myself."

Instantly Alucard understood, and he showed it by laughing, once more, at her expense.

"You can do it more than once, you know," he said, clearly having the time of his life.

"That's not what Percy said," she told him, almost outraged.

"He was only half wrong then," he told her, still smiling. "Men are generally the ones who can only go once at a time. Women have been blessed with the ability to have multiple-"

"Oh," said Integra, interrupting him, somehow if he finished that sentence she would be uncomfortable.

Then, as if the statement fully hit her, she had let the sheet slip around her waste and started furiously trying to unbutton his shirt.

"Why didn't you say so?" she asked, pulling at it.

He began helping her, and with a little effort his shirt was on the floor with his shoes.

Integra was on him again, but this time it was her turn to explore. She ran her hands over his chest and arms, seeing what was there. She noted his nipples were brown, hers were pink. She idly wondered if it was due to their different genders or if it varied from person to person.

Integra wanted him under the covers with her, but he still had on those blasted pants and she hadn't yet worked up the courage to start picking at those yet.

Alucard didn't seem to be in any hurry. He let her do whatever she liked and he sat and bore it like a good pet.

It was with a great deal of gumption that Integra plucked gently at the top button of his trousers. She could practically feel him grinning. After a moment of working at it she felt the button slip through the hole. She began to tug at the zipper.

It got stuck.

She tried tugging it a bit harder, but it was no use. By then Alucard has noticed her lack of attentions and was watching her struggle with it.

"Try pulling it up and back down again," he suggested to her. Integra looked up like a child who'd been caught raiding the candy jar.

"Thanks," she said. She tried it and sure enough, lo and behold, it worked.

Now there was just the getting them off bit. She tugged them down a bit, trying to see how far she could get them down his hips without help. Alucard, once again noticing her struggle, lifted himself slightly off the bed.

She gave them a good pull.

"Hey!" exclaimed Alucard. "Watch it!"

"What?" asked Integra not sure what she'd done wrong.

"You got me caught," Alucard said, his tone calmer now. "You can't go bending around the more sensitive bits, Master. They have a tendency to protest."

"Caught?" Integra asked, still a bit unsure about was going on. Alucard looked at her like she was dense.

"You when you pulled my pants it gave my cock a mighty yank, which is not cohesive to the situation," he spelled it out for her.

"Oh," she said. "Sorry."

Then she did it again.

"Alright," he said in a rush. "I'll do it, you're hopeless."

And he slipped his pants off himself, leaving nothing behind. Integra stared. Alucard let her.

"Do you usually run around without underwear?" she asked him as a matter of comment.

"Yes," he answered back.

"Hmm," said Integra. She reached down and touched him. He closed his eyes.

"Try not to _claw_ me, Integra _dearest_," he muttered to her under his breath.

He felt odd, his skin felt soft, but it was sort of stiff. He was circumcised, she noted. It looked a bit strange…mostly ugly really. She ran her hand over it, it twitched. She giggled. Alucard opened an eye and looked at her. She beamed at him. He sighed.

"Like this," he said, wrapping her hand around him.

"I know," she said gleefully. "I did this for Percy."

Alucard groaned. Integra decided it might have been the wrong thing to say, so she leaned up to kiss him, hoping to make amends.

He took the bait and soon she was on her back. All at once it was wonderful. They were touching and she could feel him and taste him and smell him. He kept touching her breasts and body, making her squirm under him. She tried to give at good as she got, pushing against him, rubbing her hips against his. He always rewarded her well for her effort. It was all so fast, so consuming. It was as if she and he were in a tornado of passion.

It wasn't until she once more felt his fingers between her legs that she remembered their ultimate purpose.

"Oh," she said. "I almost forgot."

It felt good as he started fingering her again. She liked the way he made her feel slick, she'd always felt a bit like she'd soiled herself when Percy did it. He didn't tease her this time, he played inside her, pleasuring her with his fingers. Integra knew he had the full intention of making her come again, she could tell by the way he kept pushing against her, not giving her an inch to breath.

Of course, it only spurred him on, she was sure, how she kept pulling herself to his chest, allowing her hips to jump up, asking for more.

She came while he was still teasing her clit. He wrapped his arms around her so that she wouldn't fall away from him. She called out his name, and she could feel him with his face in her hair.

"Oh, Integra," he said as she grasped at him.

But Integra wasn't given a chance to rest. Soon he was pushing at her entrance with something she was sure was too large to be a finger on anything short of a giant. Integra felt sure that he would go slow, taking his time, but she was wrong. Alucard thrust into her in one sweep, and it was damn painful.

Integra bit her lip, not letting herself cry out. Alucard began to thrust. At first it felt a bit awkward, but as he went on she began to feel a familiar stirring in her stomach. The friction he was causing felt good, it felt hot and smooth. Her body kept trying to meet him, but she was sadly out of sync.

"Faster," she demanded. He complied.

He was thrusting in hard and deep. His pace gave her no room to slow down. She was being forced to the brink and she was enjoying every minute of it.

It could have been an hour, it could have been four. But it felt so _good_. She could hear Alucard above her, concentrating on what he was doing. She clutched at his back, he had one hand on the back of her thigh and the other was supporting his weight.

She tried again to match his thrusts, and failed. Alucard noticed this time and sat up a little. He put his hands on either side of her hips, and slowing down to let her get started, he guided her movements.

"Ah," she said, breathlessly "Thank-you."

He grunted, giving her a sweet kiss.

Integra could tell they were reaching their peak as he began to be a bit more sporadic. She grabbed at his shoulders, knowing what was coming next.

Then, it was as if someone had lit a firecracker in the room. Integra was overwhelmed with heat, and a light burst in front of her eyes. It seemed to take forever, but it still wasn't long enough. She clutched onto the man above her, afraid that if she let go she would lose everything.


	17. Snickerbodkin Crazed

Integra woke up the next afternoon knowing that she'd overslept, but she couldn't seem to bring herself to care. She stretched, letting a slow grin slip across her face. Alucard had been right; Percy really did have no idea what he was doing. She pulled the covers up around her, and rolled over.

There was Alucard, and she had to admit, he looked good naked. He didn't seem to care that he was sprawled out in all his glory, in fact he looked a bit cocky. (Yes, Integra did not miss her own pun.) He grinned over at her, one of his cigars dangling from his lips.

"How creepy," she said looking at him.

Immediately his face fell a bit.

"A night like that?" he asked, "and all you can say is 'how creepy?'"

Integra grinned at him. "I was simply referring to your obsession of watching me when I'm not looking."

"Oh?" he asked.

"I found last night to be…very satisfying."

Alucard leaned back so hard in his laughter he hit his head against the headboard.

"What was your favorite part?" he asked after a moment of collecting himself a few minutes later, quite serious.

She leaned over and whispered something in his ear.

"Really?" he asked as she pulled away. "Liked that, did you?"

She raised an eyebrow, giving him a look she knew he wasn't yet used to, especially with the sex hair. Gods, she shuddered at the thought of getting all the tangles out.

"How did I compare to Percy?"

"I didn't once feel the need to shoot you?"

"What about when you threatened to shoot me?"

"I didn't mean it, and you should have done what I asked," she told him, evilly.

Alucard giggled, just like a little girl in church.

Integra leaned over and kissed him, catching him by surprise. He didn't protest though and pulled her closer, once again submerging his hands in her hair as she supported herself on his chest.

"Hmmm," he said.

"Mmmm," she agreed.

Alucard began tugging at her sheet, but Integra pulled away.

"No," she said firmly. "Must go do paperwor-" but she was unfortunately cut off by the lips of a vampire.

"Seras, will you please see if we have another copy of form B2? I've gone and botched this one."

Seras gave her a quizzical look. "That's the third form you've mussed today."

Integra knew it was rare for her to make a mistake on her paperwork; she was so familiar with them. She didn't usually have to redo anything even thrice a year, let alone a day. It wasn't really her fault though, today her mind was elsewhere. Today was the day she got her pregnancy test back.

"I appear to be distracted today, Seras,' she said. "My mind must be wandering."

"Are you feeling ill again?" asked Seras who had walked over to the file cabinet and gotten Integra a new form.

"Not at all," she said with a kind look. "I'm feeling quite well, actually."

Seras scowled. "Are you doing drugs or something?" she asked.

"What makes you ask that?" Integra questioned, stapling something with a flourish. Integra saw Seras give her a look that plainly said no one should be so cheerful about forcing two pieces of paper together.

"The good mood, the warm glow, the suspicious random sighs of contentment?" Seras accused. "It's drugs or…it's drugs."

Integra grinned. She had a warm glow? Well, that was good news, wasn't it?

"I'm not on drugs," Integra said. "I just think I'm going to be getting a bit of good news today, is all."

Integra did feel a bit guilty, Seras had never been told what was planned. It would make sense that, to Seras, nothing made sense at all.

"What bit of news could have you this chipper?" asked Seras looking at what she was working on. "Are you getting a new gun?"

"No."

"Did last suit come out of the dry cleaning like you wanted?"

"Well, yes, but that's not it either."

"Did the Queen decide you were too much trouble to make have an heir, because two of you would just be too hard to handle?"

"Not yet."

"Not yet?"

"Hmm."

"What the bloody hell is going on, Sir Integra?"

Integra beckoned Seras over to her. Seras came, looking a little bit frightened. She kneeled in front of Integra, who was sitting in her chair, looking almost longingly at a cigar.

"Seras," she said, taking her eyes away from her death stick. "I may very well be with child."

Seras gasped.

"But how, you never had-" but Integra began to explain in a rush all that had gone on. (Well, as much as she thought delicate ears could handle.)

"You're pulling my leg!" Seras exclaimed after the story. "Hey, why didn't I get to know about all this sneaking?"

Integra could tell that Seras felt a bit left out.

"Only because we didn't want to get your hopes up, Seras," Integra told her fondly. "I wanted to make sure it was going to work before I started telling tales outside of school."

Seras squealed.

"I hope you know," Integra started off, her tone more like it usually was. "That my child, when it is born, is very much going to need a nanny."

Seras' eyes got big. "You don't say?"

"Hmm," noted Integra. "We can't have just any mortal being running around with a half vampire child, now can we?"

"No, I suppose not," muttered Seras smiling.

"Would you be kind enough to watch over it when I can't, Seras Victoria?" Integra asked, a sincere tone to her that made her seem a bit more matronly.

"It would be an honor, Sir Integra." Seras looked like someone had told her she'd never have to drink blood again.

Integra then did something quite unexpected, she pulled Seras off of the floor in front of her, and into an embrace. It was when she heard Seras sob, that she knew she'd done the right thing.

"Oh, Sir Integra!" she heard as Seras got her all wet. "I'm just so happy for you!"

Seras and Integra sat by the phone in her office. The call was due any moment. It was well passed dawn and Seras was looking a bit ill, but she still sat next to Integra, not showing any desire of wanting to leave.

Alucard was also in the room, looking out into the coming morning with a look of distance on his face.

It had been a long night, the news that had supposed to be delivered straight to Integra the night before was a long time coming. She's already called down twice. Apparently the first batch of her urine had been contaminated, and the second hadn't been prepared like the first, since they didn't know it was going to be contaminated.

The paperwork was lying on her desk, mostly finished. After awhile she had gone ahead and given up, no longer able to concentrate. It had been Alucard and Seras who had gone about busying themselves with what was supposed to be her job after that. Meanwhile Integra had paced about the room, touching things.

She seemed to be reminiscing a bit. She remembered her own father. She had idolized him at the time, but looking back….Well, he wasn't the ideal of parental units. Of course he had loved her. Her hers was a life where her bedtime stories gave her nightmares. Her father had taught her well, but at what price? She worried about her own child. Was she really fit to be someone's mother? It wasn't fair if she was bringing it into the world to simply be a placeholder until her death.

She remembered the way her father smelled, like expensive liquor and women's perfume. Arthur had always had at least one woman on his arm and another in his bed. He had been a womanizer, he'd also be delicate enough to keep it from the prying eyes of his small daughter, but she had been much more cunning then he had known.

She'd loved spending time with him. He'd always seemed so busy, like he had a million other things he needed to be doing. Her lessons with him were rare and time spent with him just for the sake of it was almost nonexistent.

She mentally vowed then and there to spend time with her child, no matter if it was just letting it sit in her office and do homework while she worked on paperwork. It may not have been initially a wanted child, but it would be welcomed nonetheless.

How was Alucard to fit into the equation? Was the child to know its true father? Integra wanted it to so badly it hurt. What harm would it do really? At least if Alucard were in the child's life she would know it was well protected, even if something did happen to her. Besides, if it were truly hers, it would know that is was…different. Alucard would provide answers to questions that she couldn't.

Besides, just because the child knew Alucard was its father didn't mean the whole world needed to.

Integra smiled to herself.

The phone rang.

She jumped.

The phone rang again.

Integra looked at Alucard, who looked back.

"Answer it Police Girl," he snapped not breaking eye contact with Integra.

Seras jumped to comply, knocking over a lamp in the process.

It fell to the floor with a crash.

"Sir. Hellsing's office, this is Victoria speaking."

There was a moment of silence while

"I see," said Seras. "Yes, I'll be sure to inform her. Thank you Dr."

Seras hung up the phone. She turned to Integra who was fists were clutched so hard she was bleeding.

"Congratulations," Seras said simply.

Integra's eyes got wide. She stood in the center of the room a moment, just staring.

Then it hit her. She jumped up and down, making a strange happy noise.

Alucard laughed as Integra ran to him and kissed him, it felt wonderful. She was so happy. None of the trivial problems that seemed to plague her constantly mattered anymore.

She turned to Seras, feeling exaulted, who was looking a bit awkward to be in the room with the couple.

"AHH!" she said, apparently not able to form words.

"I know," said Seras smiling.

Integra grinned and walked over to her chair and plopped down in her chair.

"Well," she asked in a business like manner, finally able to form a sentence. "What colors should we make the babies room?"


	18. Glorious

The months seemed to fly past; Integra was a hubbub of anticipation. She was making quite the stunning mother, mostly because Alucard demanded she sleep and eat properly, and when he was unable to watch her, he made sure his fledgling was there in his sted. Between the Police Girl and her master Integra didn't even get to look at her lighter, let alone the cigar box, and although she missed them both terrible she vowed to herself to smoke a small countries worth after she gave birth. Alucard told her sternly that she could smoke until her lungs turned to ash, as long as she did it away from the child.

Other than the rather frightful mood swings and odd food cravings, there was nothing that Integra could really complain about. Except back aches.

\"Alucard," called Integra from her bathroom where she was undressing. "Fetch me some salve, would you? My back is protesting motherhood again."

Alucard pretended not to hear her.

"Alucard," she called again. "I know you're there. ALUCARD."

Integra knew that he wouldn't let her yell for long. She was due in three days time and he was stressed about every little thing. He was even more agitated than her. He'd taken to watching her from the shadows, as he'd found that if he got too close she would make him run errands.

"Do you suppose," he asked dryly as she struggled to get her pants off, "that you might tread a bit more softly, so as not to induce an early labor?"

"Don't be ridiculous," she said hotly as she leaned against the tub. "I'm being careful. I just need a bath, the hot water calms down the baby and it makes my back feel better."

"I think that salve is going to your brain," he told her as he walked over to help her turn the knob on the tub.

Integra rubbed her face with her hand. She looked down at her bulging stomach, really it left her quite improperly proportioned. Her thin lanky frame with a huge belly (and it was huge) made her feel like an ungraceful bird.

Alucard, on the other hand, liked the belly. He liked to touch it, look at it, he even liked to talk to it.

"Help me into the bath," demanded Integra. She didn't like being this dependant.

Alucard grabbed her by the arm and helped lower her into the water below.

"Ahhh," said Integra. "Feels lovely. The back spasms have been particularly bad today."

"Don't let her boil you," Alucard said to Integra's stomach. "If it gets to hot you give her a good kick."

"Please do not encourage violence before it leaves the womb," Integra said, leaning back and closing her eyes.

Alucard watched her as a grimace flittered across her features.

"Are you sure this is just a back ache?" he asked, his eyes narrowing.

She gave him The Look.

"Yes," she said simply. "Get out."

"No," he replied. "I think that you should call the doctor."

Integra tried, but failed, to faze him with another look.

"I'm serious, Integra," he said as he went for her robe.

Alucard went over to the towel cabinet to retrieve something to wrap her in. He seemed to have made up his mind.

"I'll have Seras fetch someone," he muttered, Integra had the feeling he'd already done so through the mental connection he shared with her.

"I think you're over reacting," she told him plainly.

He shrugged and went to her, looping his arms through hers from behind and helping her up from the tub. He then helped her slip into her robe, keeping a careful eye on her.

Integra allowed him to do all this with nary a word.

"Why are you being so complacent?" he asked suspiciously.

She shrugged. "My water might have broken earlier today," she said as if commenting on the weather.

"What!" he exclaimed. "Why didn't you mention it you daft woman?" he questioned her incredulously.

"You have no idea the things that my body has been doing to me since I have been pregnant," she told him seriously. "I have no idea what is considered normal any more. Everything leaks or bloats, my ankles and back protest at any given motion and I have the desire to consume foods that I know very well do not mix well on anyone's stomach."

Alucard looked angry, but knew better than to say anything.

"Come then," he said, leading her back into her bedroom.

Alucard led her to her bed, let her down and made sure he was as comfortable as he would allow, given his mood. Then he sat down in a chair next to her and waited for his fledging o bring up the doctor.

They didn't have to wait long. Soon Seras burst through the door, dragging a rumpled and sleepy looking man with her. Integra thought they must have just woken him up, but admired the speed at which they arrived.

"We're here!" she declared as if it wasn't blatantly obvious.

Alucard quickly informed the Police Girl of the situation, the doctor listened too, and as soon as Alucard was done he went over to Integra.

"Excuse me, Sir Hellsing," said the doctor as he pulled open her robe to examine her. "Ah, well, it's no wonder you're having back spasms, is it? You are fully dilated, Sir Hellsing."

"Oh, lovely," she said dully. "I don't understand what all the fuss is about, stabbing myself in the neck with an envelope opener was much worse."

Alucard gave a small snort, but it might have been a growl, Integra couldn't tell.

The doctor turned to the Police Girl. "Go back to the first floor, go to the women's wing, ask for a girl called Jenivicus, rouse her and tell her to bring supply set B, and by all means hurry."

Seras went out so fast that Integra blinked and she was gone. The girl was fast.

"As for you, Sir Hellsing," the doctor said, turning back to her. "I am going to put you out, so to speak. You'll be conscious and able to know what's going on, but after the medication wears off all this will be incredibly foggy. Having another living being squeezed from your body is not a pleasant experience, and this will help ease things along a bit."

Integra merely nodded, as long as Alucard was there she felt confident that she could be slightly subdued.

"Alright then," he said, pulling out a cloth and some amber colored liquid. He poured some of the liquid onto the cloth. "Here, smell this."

Integra did as she was told.

Looking back, the doctor had been correct, everything was a blur. She could remember seeing different people and hearing various phrases, but it all seemed a bit of a grey area.

As the night went on, Integra could feel the mysterious stuff wearing off. The doctor went to give her some more, but Integra protested.

"No," she said. "I will be alert when my child enters this world, not souped up on some mystery elixir."

The doctor didn't argue with her.

"Why isn't it coming out?" she asked after a while. "If I-was-fully-dilated, shouldn't-it-only-be-a matter-of minutes?" towards the end her sentenced was pierced with the effort of an enormous push.

"We think the baby might be backwards," said a woman, Integra assumed her to be the doctors assistant. "We're going to try and turn it around so it will come out."

Integra didn't think that sounded good.

"Alright Sir Hellsing," said the doctor. "This won't be pleasant, I'm afraid."

Integra bit her tongue, literally as she felt the doctor's arm reach inside of her. It felt so unnatural, after all she was supposed to be getting rid of this thing inside her, not adding to it.

"Ah," said the doctor in a moment of triumph. "We have it right now!"

"Excellent," said Integra with a gasp, hoping to be done soon.

"Push, Sir Hellsing, push," encouraged the assistant. Integra tried to kick her, but found that her leg was asleep, instead she settled for a snarl. The assistant didn't seem to notice.

With strength Integra summoned from she didn't know where she gave an almighty heave.

The sound of the room was broken by a slap and a cry.

"We have delivery," cried the doctor, clearly relieved. Integra watched as he handed the child to the assistant.

"What is it?" she rasped out.

"A boy," he told her with a tired smile. "And he looks to be in perfect health."

Integra let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.

"Thank-you God," she said to the ceiling.

Then the assistant nudged her and Integra saw that she had her baby swaddled up in a blanket. Integra took him gingerly.

"Oh my," she said, looking down. She pulled the blanket away from his face. The baby had ice blue eyes, and Integra wondered if they would change as he got older. His hair was not hers, it was dark and there was an abundance of it. She let her fingers touch his little face, wondering how anything could be so small.

He was a pinkish red color. Integra held him to her, a feeling coming over her that she couldn't explain.

"Er, we will just give you a moment then," said the doctor, and Integra was dimly aware that Alucard was growling at him. And with that the doctor and his assistant hurriedly exited the room.

"Master?" asked Alucard. Integra beckoned him over, knowing what he was asking. He slowly approached, and when he was close enough, Intgera nodded at the bundle in her arms, telling him to take it. She did not trust her own strength.

"Look at your son," she told him, hoping to see something she couldn't explain.

A wide smile cracked over his face, he picked up the boy, being more careful that Integra had ever seen him. It was odd to see such a destructive creature being so gentle.

"Beautiful," he whispered, to whom Integra was not sure. He looked up. "What should we call him?"

Integra did not answer for a moment. None of the names she'd picked seemed to fit now, after looking at him.

"Ignacious Aurelius" she said after a moment, a wicked smirk in her face.

Alucard looked at her, then laughed. "So be it," he said, overjoyed, "I think I like it…"

Integra just smiled at him.

The End

Please review.

No epilogue requests please, I'll only do it if I want to.

Thank you very much for reading.

Flames welcome.


	19. Epilogue

Ignacious Aurelius Hellsing starred at the casket in front of him. A cigarette dangled from his lips and he did not look at all pleased. His brow was knitted together in concentration and his lips fell into a frown. Despite his surly behavior his dark good looks left an impression, and the women in the front row could be seem over his should, casting him quick glances.

Ignacious put a hand on the casket, it was a dark wood, and it shone brightly. It was beautiful.

He snorted. His mother would have preferred her organizations money go to something better than a pretty box to burry in dirt. It was for the fools around him that this silly contraption had been bought.

He crunched the program they had given him in his fist. They could write whatever they wanted onto a piece of paper. It did not make her a good person; it did not guarantee her a place in heaven. It was just ink, after all. Integra Hellsing was no more qualified to be one of the angels in heaven than she was to be Austria's next tennis star. She was a flawed, dark individual. Her actions echoed as a testament to her beliefs and her iron will, but one good does not out do a life of grey.

The young man turned on his heel to leave.

"Ignacious," said an older man dressed in navy. "For God's sake, would you not at least stay for the epitaph? She was your mother, the least you could do it pay your last resects."

The Hellsing looked down at the smaller man. He seemed so expressionless and good looking that the balding port bellied elder looked away, uncomfortable.

"Yes," said Ignacious, almost to himself. "She was my mother, wasn't she?"

The other man looked up from his feet as if he had just heard something break.

"Not to worry," Ignacious said coldly. "I sincerely doubt this is her final resting place."

As he walked away the other man looked at him curiously.

"Strange man," he muttered to himself. "Just like his mother…but colder…and better looking…strange, strange man."

Ignacious walked away, into the mansion that had been his childhood home before he started a new branch in the states and was now his inheritance once again. He walked easily into the dark and most ancient part of the house, the basement.

He got there in what seemed like no time at all and he stopped, looking around as if trying to find something. He slipped a hand in his pocket.

"Seras," he said after a moment. "Are you there, or did you take off with the rest of your lot?"

A wind whipped through the hallway. Ignacious smiled for the first time.

"Hello Iggy," said a cheerful voice. Ignacious winced at the childish nickname.

"Hello Seras," he said to the air. He could not see her even still. "It's good to see someone didn't take off on me."

Seras materialized next to him, he could feel it. Instead of turning around to look he pulled a lighter out of his pocket, intending to light the cigarette he had been nursing.

"They didn't take off," she said almost sadly. "Not really. There still with us, sort of."

"What are you babbling about," he asked through a drag. "I've been waiting for this for nearly a decade. It was practically inevitable."

Seras choked, Ignacious assume she was trying not to cry. "But I didn't want them to go. I miss them, memories just aren't the same."

Ignacious was taken aback. It was rare that he got to see the Seras of the stories his father had told him.

"They're hardly out of reach."

"They're dead."

"Aren't we all ultimately? It's just how long you can draw it out."

"I want them to come back."

"Don't be stupid, Seras. They're probably somewhere we'll never even to get to see."

Seras looked away. Ignacious could see she was upset.

"Do you thing we'll meet them again?" she asked, a quiver in her voice.

"Undoubtedly," Ignacious said dryly.

Seras smiled. "You're so like them."

Ignacious snorted and took her arm. "Yes, so I am frequently told," he mumbled.

Seras scooted a bit closer.

"You know," said Ignacious after a time. "I think I'll stay here."

Seras stopped, visibly shocked. Her eyes seemed rather wide.

"What about the States?" she asked.

"What about them? He asked curtly. "Obviously I've thought of that, Seras. Give me some credit."

She smiled to herself.

They walked together all the way to the other end of the mansion, then all the way to the top, where Integra's office was still packed with all her belongings.

Ignacious walked in, leaving Seras at the door. He stood in the middle of the room looking around. It felt like home.

"I think I'll leave things the way they are," he muttered to himself. "Mother had damn good taste."

He walked to the desk and sat down.

"You look like you belong here," said Seras, finally stepping in.

"I do," he replied simply.

They just were for a moment, in silence. It felt good to just be.

"What's that?" asked Seras after a time.

Ignacious glanced down, a gleam of silver catching his eye.

"It's my mother's cross," he said, moving to pick it up. "I suppose she won't need it any more."

He fiddled with it, and then threw it to Seras.

"You have it," he said. "You're closer to God than I am."

Seras looked at him disapprovingly. "That's exactly why you need the reminder you silly boy."

Ignacious grinned at her cockily. He tossed a leg up, putting his foot on top of the desk.

"Look," exclaimed Seras, "there's a royal letter by your foot."

Sure enough, there was a small envelope with the royal seal. He grabbed it up and tore it open then read it over quickly.

"Jesus P. Christ," he said after a minute. "Damn it, they're all in cahoots after all!"

"What does it say?" asked Seras eagerly.

"_Sir Hellsing_," he read aloud. "_I am pleased to inform you that we will be holding a ball in your honor at Chesterfield hall this June 6__th__ of …_.."


End file.
